There is a lot one can learn from a handshake. You can feel physical strength, but also, if you feel with your heart, you can sense the inner strength that resides inside the person on the other end of the handshake. You can tell how much their hands have worked. You will also know the confidence one exudes by their handshake.
There is even more to be learned from an embracing hug. And even more to be discovered through watching one live their life.
I have had a handshake from feeble looking hands who had worked their whole life to feed and provide for generations. A handshake that one would have thought to be dainty and gentle. Instead, it was firm. Very firm. Shook you. Startled you to reality, firm. You walked away knowing this hand had walked through the fire, was confident. You were suddenly aware of your own quick judgement about how that hand might feel. You had underestimated that handshake.
This handshake came from a lady I had known all my life. She was always known to me as Mamaw Beeler. She was a lady who knew who she was and Who she walked with.
She had an embrace that would make you feel like the most loved person, even when everyone else rejected you. She lived a life that quietly, in everyday, taken for granted ways, let you know she was living for her King. And, yes, she had a handshake that was firm enough to make my tough husband wince in pain from time to time. It was firm. It said a lot.
Today, I got to read part of a note her great great granddaughter, Gracie, wrote in a Get Well Soon card from Gracie & her brother as Mamaw Beeler became ill. It said, "Faith is hope, hope is love, love is life. God trust you in life." And later, Gracie wrote a note and left it on her table the day her great great grandmother passed. It said, "She will be in Heaven, a very good place."
What this sweet child had picked up from her great great grandmothers's life was that she was one of God's children. That God trusted her grandmother to be His handshake and His embrace in this life.
She is God's and God is hers. "She will be in Heaven, a very good place."
There is much you can say with your life. You can say who is important to you. You can say if you were happy or if you were bitter. And I wonder often what I'm saying.
I hope when my time comes, that the generation or generations coming up behind me will not hesitate in knowing that, "She will be in Heaven, a very good place."
I want to sit down more often so I can look in the eyes of my children and not only tell them about a God and mother who love them, but show them. Help them feel it. I want to quietly be the embrace that says to someone, "When no one else loves you, I do and so does God." I want to be the handshake that tells people not to underestimate what God can do with my weak body. I want to live the life that says, "I am His and He is mine."
Dear Mom, when you struggle to do everything you think you have to accomplish to be a good mom, remember there is much to be said without saying a word.
Let the dishes go once. Let emails wait.
Let your children see you read God's Word. Let them hear you pray. Let them hear you pray for them. Let them see you worship God, whether in quiet tears streaming down your face or in a joyful dance to your Father.
Dear Mom, if you leave nothing at all for your children but this, you have done well -- That they may know, "She will be in Heaven, a very good place."
**Dedicated to the memory of Mamaw Beeler. May we all live a life like yours. May we all let God's love flow through us.
Jan 12, 2015
Nov 13, 2014
When God Controls Your Steps and Stops
All my life I had been told that God ordered my steps. I believed it in terms of big events. I can't say I didn't believe it for the small things, I'm just saying that maybe I didn't realize how often God ordered my steps and stops along the path of each day to ultimately have my back.
Then today happened.
Normally I would complain about all the things we had to do that were so time consuming or just unpleasant to endure. But I had this strange peace all day. We stopped to take care of some banking, stopped at our favorite car dealership to drop off some paperwork, and took our youngest to get some blood work done. I felt the biggest blessing of the day was actually having success with the lab work as we had attempted it three times before. I managed to even keep calm through that procedure with three kids while my husband did a phone conference with work. I was even calm and remembered to call on God for peace in my heart when the lady registering her couldn't get her insurance to enter correctly on her computer.
We went to lunch as a family and I even kept it together when salsa was slung all over me and the baby... along with the special treat of Sprite we had given her for having to get blood work done.
I went home and took a little break and then had to meet a friend to pay for some tickets for a home school field trip before we took our new kitty, Link, to get his check up. Again, I was frustrated that PayPal has had it out for me since I closed my business and switched to a personal account, and I had to make her meet me... But I did it with a smile and didn't even feel as upset as I might normally have been.
On to the vet... Who does the vet with three kids (ages 10, 6, & 18 months) and a kitten (7 months)? I mean wasn't I just asking for it? Alas, even that didn't phase me much and I managed to laugh it off.
And then God revealed the beauty in all the timing of this day. The beauty in having to do errands, the beauty in technology not working, and the beauty in conversations placed perfectly in my day....
... The masterpiece He had made today into, in order to save my family and our home.
To make a long story short, I entered our home at the perfect time to smell smoke and find the power out due to utility work. I was there when the power came on minutes later and caught our fuse box & meter on fire.
And then God perfectly placed the utility worker in our driveway to remove the meter and turn all power off to our house.
He safely got my husband home just in time to go check that I had gotten the fire to stop and to handle the rest of the jobs and chores associated so I could go comfort our daughters and share with them how our God had ordered every part of our day to provide protection to us and our home and everything He had given us.
Today I learned how things I complain about sometimes are REALLY ordered by God if I just allow Him to control things... To not complain or try to fix it. Rather,to just let Him do what He passionately desires to do... To love, protect, and bless His children. He controlled every step and stop I made today. I'm so grateful for the peace He gave me to just let it be and go with what He was doing.... No small feat for this control freak.
We are all safe. We might be camped out on couches and recliners at my parents tonight, but we are together. We are loved by a wonderful Heavenly Father.
I encourage you to trust those moments when you feel God is moving in the everyday... in the mundane. Leave the control in His hands. I have never had such a moment where I sat back and KNEW God had made the timing of the day perfect for me. Had I not been there when the fire started, our day would be ending differently.
Trust Him when the little elderly lady is going 10 mph under the speed limit in front of you. Trust Him when you get unexpected errands in your day. Trust Him when He chooses to delay an answer to a prayer. Trust Him when He says no. Trust Him when He says to go. Trust Him.
Then today happened.
Normally I would complain about all the things we had to do that were so time consuming or just unpleasant to endure. But I had this strange peace all day. We stopped to take care of some banking, stopped at our favorite car dealership to drop off some paperwork, and took our youngest to get some blood work done. I felt the biggest blessing of the day was actually having success with the lab work as we had attempted it three times before. I managed to even keep calm through that procedure with three kids while my husband did a phone conference with work. I was even calm and remembered to call on God for peace in my heart when the lady registering her couldn't get her insurance to enter correctly on her computer.
We went to lunch as a family and I even kept it together when salsa was slung all over me and the baby... along with the special treat of Sprite we had given her for having to get blood work done.
I went home and took a little break and then had to meet a friend to pay for some tickets for a home school field trip before we took our new kitty, Link, to get his check up. Again, I was frustrated that PayPal has had it out for me since I closed my business and switched to a personal account, and I had to make her meet me... But I did it with a smile and didn't even feel as upset as I might normally have been.
On to the vet... Who does the vet with three kids (ages 10, 6, & 18 months) and a kitten (7 months)? I mean wasn't I just asking for it? Alas, even that didn't phase me much and I managed to laugh it off.
And then God revealed the beauty in all the timing of this day. The beauty in having to do errands, the beauty in technology not working, and the beauty in conversations placed perfectly in my day....
... The masterpiece He had made today into, in order to save my family and our home.
To make a long story short, I entered our home at the perfect time to smell smoke and find the power out due to utility work. I was there when the power came on minutes later and caught our fuse box & meter on fire.
And then God perfectly placed the utility worker in our driveway to remove the meter and turn all power off to our house.
He safely got my husband home just in time to go check that I had gotten the fire to stop and to handle the rest of the jobs and chores associated so I could go comfort our daughters and share with them how our God had ordered every part of our day to provide protection to us and our home and everything He had given us.
Today I learned how things I complain about sometimes are REALLY ordered by God if I just allow Him to control things... To not complain or try to fix it. Rather,to just let Him do what He passionately desires to do... To love, protect, and bless His children. He controlled every step and stop I made today. I'm so grateful for the peace He gave me to just let it be and go with what He was doing.... No small feat for this control freak.
We are all safe. We might be camped out on couches and recliners at my parents tonight, but we are together. We are loved by a wonderful Heavenly Father.
I encourage you to trust those moments when you feel God is moving in the everyday... in the mundane. Leave the control in His hands. I have never had such a moment where I sat back and KNEW God had made the timing of the day perfect for me. Had I not been there when the fire started, our day would be ending differently.
Trust Him when the little elderly lady is going 10 mph under the speed limit in front of you. Trust Him when you get unexpected errands in your day. Trust Him when He chooses to delay an answer to a prayer. Trust Him when He says no. Trust Him when He says to go. Trust Him.
Oct 6, 2014
Whose Report?
Yesterday morning at church I was reminded of why my attitude can be so negative and pessimistic sometimes.... my attitude stinks when I believe the report of the enemy.... my attitude is positive and optimistic when I believe the report of the Lord.
I knew I needed a reminder of this in my house, so I made this and it's hanging on my fridge right now, I plan to print it larger and frame it. I WILL BELIEVE the report of the LORD...
(Please feel free click on the image to download it.)
Sep 11, 2014
Moms & the "It" & Ministry
A long time ago, I titled this blog "About the Journey: How We Get There Matters" because I believe wholeheartedly that it really does matter what happens between point A and point B. I believe that you should do your best all along the way and try to help others as you go. But what happens to a person that believes this but suddenly finds herself feeling that her best is just not cutting it or that she is helping no one?
"It" has been building in my life for months now.
... whatever "it" is.
Maybe "it" is the pressure I feel in my chest when I look around and realize the work I have before me or I jot it all down on my to-do list and realize that I need a whole binder of notebook paper to fit in everything that truly needs to be on that list. Maybe "it" is the fountain of tears that flow out of my eyes on a regular basis when I think of all that has been against me and the family in the past several months - trying to tear me, us.... my relationships apart.
Maybe "it" is that feeling that mothers should just begin to listen to instead of ignore. What if the "it" is God's little way of letting us know we need to take a step back and realize what really matters to us and then do that?
What matters to me? God, my husband, my children, my family, reaching people for God, helping moms, and making a little time for myself so that I can do well the things that matter.
How did I get this list? Getting here wasn't easy. I was running around literally dying inside and not knowing who I was or what my mission in this life was... the mission God Himself had made me to do. I'm still working on it. A whole lot of time being alone with God has ensued and it has been worth every moment.
Then God led me to let stuff go. I hesitated, but eventually listened. I'm still in the process of letting go. And let me tell you, some days, like today, it hurts deeply. Other days, I can feel the freedom I will have when I am all done letting go... it's rising up in me, getting me so excited about what GOD is going to do with me now!
And then, I listened to Laura Ingalls.
Yes, I did.
As I have read her first two books to our daughters as part of our homeschooling, her story about her journey has led me to realize the beauty in little. Her family had little in our eyes but time and again they mention living like kings. Oh, I want that mentality. To realize that I don't need so much, that I am already living like a queen. Things so often cause the "it" to rise up in my chest and hurt.
So today, moms, or anyone else who took the time to read this, I encourage you to listen when the "it" rises up in your chest. We are doing too much, wanting too much, and really asking too much of those around us, as well as asking too much of ourselves all because we feel a pressure from some outside source (society maybe?) that says we have to be and have all those things. We are letting our spouses, children, God, relationships, and self suffer deeply by owning the feeling that we have to be all, have all, and do all.
Maybe today, you have had tears pour wildly down your face because you felt alone in your thoughts. The pressure has been too much and you just don't know how much longer you can deal. You just know you are the worst mother, wife, friend, Christian there is in the world. You feel like you are closing up inside yourself and no one will ever notice the pain you have from feeling like you just can't cut it anymore.
Today, I notice. God notices. And I really believe that we can use the "it" feeling to determine when too much is just too much and it's hurting us. Possibly that means letting go of some things, or talking something out with a loved one, or asking for help, or giving your children more responsibility, or taking time for yourself this weekend, or going to a Bible study, or just hitting your knees and letting your Heavenly Father do what He does best - love on you!
Do not give up mom!
I've told you I have been there. I felt the "it" feeling today and thought I would die from the explosion about to happen in my head. But here's how I cope with that feeling now:
First, I have that instinctual get angry, fight or flight instinct that I have always had. Only now, I take a breath and ask God what He wants me to do in that moment of THAT feeling. Today, He led me to you!... to writing this blog. And here you are reading it.
I hope that you take time today to ask God to help you prioritize life - to help you get to a place that you are accomplishing your mission and yours alone. My current mission is my ministry - my ministry is my children and I do this ministry with my husband. It is the greatest ministry position I have had in my life. It might not be held in high esteem by the world like some ministries, but none the less, it is the most important ministry I will ever be apart of.
If you are there too, in this place of ministry because you have children, then let no one convince you that this ministry isn't important!
"It" has been building in my life for months now.
... whatever "it" is.
Maybe "it" is the pressure I feel in my chest when I look around and realize the work I have before me or I jot it all down on my to-do list and realize that I need a whole binder of notebook paper to fit in everything that truly needs to be on that list. Maybe "it" is the fountain of tears that flow out of my eyes on a regular basis when I think of all that has been against me and the family in the past several months - trying to tear me, us.... my relationships apart.
Maybe "it" is that feeling that mothers should just begin to listen to instead of ignore. What if the "it" is God's little way of letting us know we need to take a step back and realize what really matters to us and then do that?
What matters to me? God, my husband, my children, my family, reaching people for God, helping moms, and making a little time for myself so that I can do well the things that matter.
How did I get this list? Getting here wasn't easy. I was running around literally dying inside and not knowing who I was or what my mission in this life was... the mission God Himself had made me to do. I'm still working on it. A whole lot of time being alone with God has ensued and it has been worth every moment.
Then God led me to let stuff go. I hesitated, but eventually listened. I'm still in the process of letting go. And let me tell you, some days, like today, it hurts deeply. Other days, I can feel the freedom I will have when I am all done letting go... it's rising up in me, getting me so excited about what GOD is going to do with me now!
And then, I listened to Laura Ingalls.
Yes, I did.
As I have read her first two books to our daughters as part of our homeschooling, her story about her journey has led me to realize the beauty in little. Her family had little in our eyes but time and again they mention living like kings. Oh, I want that mentality. To realize that I don't need so much, that I am already living like a queen. Things so often cause the "it" to rise up in my chest and hurt.
So today, moms, or anyone else who took the time to read this, I encourage you to listen when the "it" rises up in your chest. We are doing too much, wanting too much, and really asking too much of those around us, as well as asking too much of ourselves all because we feel a pressure from some outside source (society maybe?) that says we have to be and have all those things. We are letting our spouses, children, God, relationships, and self suffer deeply by owning the feeling that we have to be all, have all, and do all.
Maybe today, you have had tears pour wildly down your face because you felt alone in your thoughts. The pressure has been too much and you just don't know how much longer you can deal. You just know you are the worst mother, wife, friend, Christian there is in the world. You feel like you are closing up inside yourself and no one will ever notice the pain you have from feeling like you just can't cut it anymore.
Today, I notice. God notices. And I really believe that we can use the "it" feeling to determine when too much is just too much and it's hurting us. Possibly that means letting go of some things, or talking something out with a loved one, or asking for help, or giving your children more responsibility, or taking time for yourself this weekend, or going to a Bible study, or just hitting your knees and letting your Heavenly Father do what He does best - love on you!
Do not give up mom!
I've told you I have been there. I felt the "it" feeling today and thought I would die from the explosion about to happen in my head. But here's how I cope with that feeling now:
First, I have that instinctual get angry, fight or flight instinct that I have always had. Only now, I take a breath and ask God what He wants me to do in that moment of THAT feeling. Today, He led me to you!... to writing this blog. And here you are reading it.
I hope that you take time today to ask God to help you prioritize life - to help you get to a place that you are accomplishing your mission and yours alone. My current mission is my ministry - my ministry is my children and I do this ministry with my husband. It is the greatest ministry position I have had in my life. It might not be held in high esteem by the world like some ministries, but none the less, it is the most important ministry I will ever be apart of.
If you are there too, in this place of ministry because you have children, then let no one convince you that this ministry isn't important!
Aug 8, 2014
An Open Prayer for Homeschool Moms
It’s after midnight… and I’m up working on setting up our first year of homeschool. While I taught our oldest for two months at the end of last year, and loved it, I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed with being responsible for the education of two children while still mothering our little toddler roaming around. For goodness sakes, I just went ahead and read 5 Reasons Not to Quit After the First Year of Homeschooling… you know just in case I feel like quitting before I even make it to the first day.
I’m not going to lie. I’ve struggled the past few weeks with tying up loose ends for homeschool. We were met with some very significant needs in the life of a family member that required much of my time and took up a lot of my thoughts and prayer life. That’s another story, but I now feel behind. Enter the beauty of homeschooling! I set my own pace, create my own schedule, and can scratch it all to just start over again if it isn’t working.
But in my desperate plea to God this evening (now morning), I asked Him for wisdom to make the best choices possible for my daughters and our family on this journey. I realized how many more homeschooling mommas just might be feeling some of the same anxiety, frustration, concern, and excitement that I am. This is my open prayer to God for us who homeschool…
Dear Father,
Help us to be a delight to our children; always allowing Your light to shine through in our actions as they will have greater impact on our children than any subject we teach.
Help us to calm our voices & tempers when frustrations are so high that we want to scream and throw papers up in the air; for You are a Father of patience, love, understanding, & compassion to us.
Help us to instill Your word in their hearts so that on days when they feel frustration with their own children, they will know just what You expect of them.
Help us to remember daily, the joy that homeschooling gave us when we first entertained the idea of being the one who taught our children for as their moms we know them best below You.
Help us to relish in the moments when our children flourish under our teaching; for their will come times when finding the way to reach them is hard and we will need to remember that You helped us do it once & You will help us again.
Help us to have wisdom concerning our children; that we might be insightful to their needs, passions, strengths, and weaknesses.
Help us to praise our children’s accomplishments and efforts; for a little encouragement can make a huge difference now and later.
Help us to show our children that we believe in them by choosing to be engaged in their lives, what they love to learn about, what they are saying, and what their minds produce.
Help us make time for ourselves and our husbands so that we can be refreshed and show them a Chrisitian marriage.
And, Father, help us to realize that we are human with faults and that we are truly a work in progress as well… that some days are going to be tough, but some days are going to be magnificent!… let each day drive us onward to the goal of raising beautiful adults who have a heart after You.
Amen
I’m not going to lie. I’ve struggled the past few weeks with tying up loose ends for homeschool. We were met with some very significant needs in the life of a family member that required much of my time and took up a lot of my thoughts and prayer life. That’s another story, but I now feel behind. Enter the beauty of homeschooling! I set my own pace, create my own schedule, and can scratch it all to just start over again if it isn’t working.
But in my desperate plea to God this evening (now morning), I asked Him for wisdom to make the best choices possible for my daughters and our family on this journey. I realized how many more homeschooling mommas just might be feeling some of the same anxiety, frustration, concern, and excitement that I am. This is my open prayer to God for us who homeschool…
Dear Father,
Help us to be a delight to our children; always allowing Your light to shine through in our actions as they will have greater impact on our children than any subject we teach.
Help us to calm our voices & tempers when frustrations are so high that we want to scream and throw papers up in the air; for You are a Father of patience, love, understanding, & compassion to us.
Help us to instill Your word in their hearts so that on days when they feel frustration with their own children, they will know just what You expect of them.
Help us to remember daily, the joy that homeschooling gave us when we first entertained the idea of being the one who taught our children for as their moms we know them best below You.
Help us to relish in the moments when our children flourish under our teaching; for their will come times when finding the way to reach them is hard and we will need to remember that You helped us do it once & You will help us again.
Help us to have wisdom concerning our children; that we might be insightful to their needs, passions, strengths, and weaknesses.
Help us to praise our children’s accomplishments and efforts; for a little encouragement can make a huge difference now and later.
Help us to show our children that we believe in them by choosing to be engaged in their lives, what they love to learn about, what they are saying, and what their minds produce.
Help us make time for ourselves and our husbands so that we can be refreshed and show them a Chrisitian marriage.
And, Father, help us to realize that we are human with faults and that we are truly a work in progress as well… that some days are going to be tough, but some days are going to be magnificent!… let each day drive us onward to the goal of raising beautiful adults who have a heart after You.
Amen
Aug 11, 2013
How Church Went Down... I Found Out Moms Rock!
Church went down like this for me last Sunday...
It was pretty much like a conversation between me & God simultaneously happening at the same time as a conversation between me & Satan. I pictured it much like God sitting on my right shoulder dressed in the purest white robe and Satan on the left shoulder draped in black and smelling pretty gross.
Anyway, the praise team busts into "I See Heaven."
"I see Heaven invading this place..."
I start to open my mouth to sing praises to God and I'm met with that ugly voice from the smelly guy on my left (and I'm not talking about Mr. Fulmer who happened to be sitting to my left and doesn't stink). "You've done so much for God and people and have gotten no where. Everyone just uses you, even God. You don't matter to Him anyway... He just wants you to work your butt off for Him and that's it... no reward for you." And my sleep deprived new momma self just agreed. I just pretty much lost my desire to sing anything then.
Funny how a simple suggestion of defeat and uselessness from the enemy can just make you feel that way.
"I see Glory falling in this place
I see hope restored, the healing of all disease
I sing praises, I sing praises.
I give you honor worthy Jesus..."
At this point my lips are moving and I'm swaying to the music because let's face it, our band and praise team rock... and I'm kinda hoping all the music and swaying will help my baby fall asleep since she had a melt down on the way to church.
Then God...
I'll finish the sentence about what He did, but first just let it sink in that "then God..." He always let's His presence be known in my situations.
Then God spoke. "I see you," He said. "I know what you have done and what you will do. I know the lives you have touched and I know the ones you will in the future. You are a special part of my plans and I won't leave you alone here to listen to the lies of our adversary in your moment of weakness. I have a direction for you, a path, just be patient and I will reveal it to you."
Whoa! What a word from the guy on my right (and I'm not talking about my handsome, stud hubby who happened to be sitting to my right). God knew just what I needed to hear and FEEL.
I find myself in a place that feels uncomfortable for me, but one I know is necessary. I know this time is about to come to a close, but I know God has a couple more things to teach me in this season of my life. I have always, always been heavily involved in some sort of ministry within the churches we have attended.... and I'm not right now. Sometimes I feel guilty. And that's where the smelly guy comes in telling me all kinds of lies to try to drag me down.
But I realized something important Sunday morning when the daughter of the unsmelly guy to my left (Mr. Fulmer) got up and blew "How Great Thou Art" out of the water. Mrs. Fulmer looked at her daughter with the sweetest smile on her face and I thought, "How proud they must be of her."
It came to me, I AM a mom. It is a ministry.
And it's beautiful and great that God gave me this chance to impact lives so deeply for Him. This is my calling. I know that God will place Matt and I in a ministry soon within our church or another He may need us to be at, but for now He is using this season to teach me how to minister better to my own children... and I don't have to believe Satan when He tells me I'm useless or that God won't reward me for my labor in His kingdom. I have three little blessings with red hair and blue eyes... I have a good relationship with a husband who tries his hardest and works 12 hour days for us. I have been rewarded.
I write about all this today because I know there are other moms in the same season as me. You feel overtaken by diapers and dirty clothes. Maybe you even feel like you have no purpose in God's kingdom. Please know that you have purpose... and if you look, you will see it in the eyes of your children. No job you hold in your workplace or position in ministry in a church can compare to the importance of the position of mom in your family given to you by the Big Guy himself.
Lift up your head... even if it needs a haircut and hasn't seen makeup in days. Sing praises to God for this ministry He choose for you. Believe me when I say that I know there are days you feel like you get nothing done but holding a fussy baby or refereeing a sibling arguement. And days when you have to clean all day just to have a big ole mess made of everything in minutes.
I know there are days, mom, when you just cry.
I know.
And I understand.
But I also know that I am a special part of God's plan. And I will not belittle the ministry He has placed me in during this season of my life.
Rock on Moms! We are designed for this job in it's high points and it's low points. Hang on to God when the dishes overflow the sink and the kids ask "why?" ten times in an hour. Teach them about God and show them how to live a life sold out to Him.
You don't have to be perfect at it.
Just be their mom.
It was pretty much like a conversation between me & God simultaneously happening at the same time as a conversation between me & Satan. I pictured it much like God sitting on my right shoulder dressed in the purest white robe and Satan on the left shoulder draped in black and smelling pretty gross.
Anyway, the praise team busts into "I See Heaven."
"I see Heaven invading this place..."
I start to open my mouth to sing praises to God and I'm met with that ugly voice from the smelly guy on my left (and I'm not talking about Mr. Fulmer who happened to be sitting to my left and doesn't stink). "You've done so much for God and people and have gotten no where. Everyone just uses you, even God. You don't matter to Him anyway... He just wants you to work your butt off for Him and that's it... no reward for you." And my sleep deprived new momma self just agreed. I just pretty much lost my desire to sing anything then.
Funny how a simple suggestion of defeat and uselessness from the enemy can just make you feel that way.
"I see Glory falling in this place
I see hope restored, the healing of all disease
I sing praises, I sing praises.
I give you honor worthy Jesus..."
At this point my lips are moving and I'm swaying to the music because let's face it, our band and praise team rock... and I'm kinda hoping all the music and swaying will help my baby fall asleep since she had a melt down on the way to church.
Then God...
I'll finish the sentence about what He did, but first just let it sink in that "then God..." He always let's His presence be known in my situations.
Then God spoke. "I see you," He said. "I know what you have done and what you will do. I know the lives you have touched and I know the ones you will in the future. You are a special part of my plans and I won't leave you alone here to listen to the lies of our adversary in your moment of weakness. I have a direction for you, a path, just be patient and I will reveal it to you."
Whoa! What a word from the guy on my right (and I'm not talking about my handsome, stud hubby who happened to be sitting to my right). God knew just what I needed to hear and FEEL.
I find myself in a place that feels uncomfortable for me, but one I know is necessary. I know this time is about to come to a close, but I know God has a couple more things to teach me in this season of my life. I have always, always been heavily involved in some sort of ministry within the churches we have attended.... and I'm not right now. Sometimes I feel guilty. And that's where the smelly guy comes in telling me all kinds of lies to try to drag me down.
But I realized something important Sunday morning when the daughter of the unsmelly guy to my left (Mr. Fulmer) got up and blew "How Great Thou Art" out of the water. Mrs. Fulmer looked at her daughter with the sweetest smile on her face and I thought, "How proud they must be of her."
It came to me, I AM a mom. It is a ministry.
And it's beautiful and great that God gave me this chance to impact lives so deeply for Him. This is my calling. I know that God will place Matt and I in a ministry soon within our church or another He may need us to be at, but for now He is using this season to teach me how to minister better to my own children... and I don't have to believe Satan when He tells me I'm useless or that God won't reward me for my labor in His kingdom. I have three little blessings with red hair and blue eyes... I have a good relationship with a husband who tries his hardest and works 12 hour days for us. I have been rewarded.
I write about all this today because I know there are other moms in the same season as me. You feel overtaken by diapers and dirty clothes. Maybe you even feel like you have no purpose in God's kingdom. Please know that you have purpose... and if you look, you will see it in the eyes of your children. No job you hold in your workplace or position in ministry in a church can compare to the importance of the position of mom in your family given to you by the Big Guy himself.
Lift up your head... even if it needs a haircut and hasn't seen makeup in days. Sing praises to God for this ministry He choose for you. Believe me when I say that I know there are days you feel like you get nothing done but holding a fussy baby or refereeing a sibling arguement. And days when you have to clean all day just to have a big ole mess made of everything in minutes.
I know there are days, mom, when you just cry.
I know.
And I understand.
But I also know that I am a special part of God's plan. And I will not belittle the ministry He has placed me in during this season of my life.
Rock on Moms! We are designed for this job in it's high points and it's low points. Hang on to God when the dishes overflow the sink and the kids ask "why?" ten times in an hour. Teach them about God and show them how to live a life sold out to Him.
You don't have to be perfect at it.
Just be their mom.
Jan 28, 2013
All growl... a scared lion!
It's been an interesting 24 hours.
I went from bragging on God's goodness to my husband in teaching him to play the piano in an amazing way on an old piano that no one wanted, to sitting in the ER with him waiting to see what had happened to his right thumb… yeah, a thumb needed to play piano for the glory of God. (It's ok, because God's gonna use this for Matt's good… read on)
A host of other little things happened as well. You know, just the kind of things that satan likes to throw into the mix when you're feeling a little discouraged just to make sure you know he's still there.
I woke up this morning with a mess of things going "wrong" and really just thought about taking Maddy to school and then just going back to bed. But instead, I thought on God for awhile. I thought on the amazing church service we had yesterday morning.
Then I remembered a few things our Pastor said while preaching his fourth sermon in a series called "The Movement" about Daniel. Pastor Nick shared that he had once heard another pastor say that the devil may be a lion roaming to and fro, but he's a lion without teeth. Basically, all growl and no bite. He might be able to bite down and "gum" you but he can't really bite you. I thought on this for a little while this morning as I was eating my oatmeal.
I literally felt like my heart was thumping out of my chest with pride as I thought about what "satan lion" really looks like to me this morning because God and his army (that's all of us who believe and follow Him). It's much different than what I had pictured before.
For some reason, I pictured him as a strong, healthy lion with muscles and giant teeth that he flashed at me all the time to scare me and keep from doing what God wanted. Here I am this morning, though, seeing satan as a pretty beat up beast….
I see him with no teeth; no way to tear me apart.
I see him with spots of hair missing; hair that I have pulled out as I yanked him off of my family through prayer.
I see him with swollen black eyes; the eyes I punch when he's throwing out his lies to my face.
I see him limping; limping from the church knocking his legs right out from under him by joining in corporate prayer to see healing and restoration to those he has attacked.
I see him skinny with his ribs showing; so frail from the lack of a feast of victory because God always wins. Period.
The Bible tells us in James 4:7 to resist the devil and he will flee. I don't think I have ever really grasped the power in that verse until now. It tells us to submit ourselves to God and then when we resist the devil, he's gonna leave…. FLEE. What does flee mean? Merriam-Webster defines it this way: "to run away from danger"… ha! Just picture it! You have the ability by submitting yourself to God and His ways to make the devil run, not casually walk away from, BUT RUN because he senses danger… just by resisting him!!! That's a beat up, scared lion running away from you!!!!!!!!!
I say this with warning though. Satan is a sly guy. He wants to attack our minds and get our focus off of submitting to God. Remember if you are submitted your gonna be able to make him run away scared and not allow him to stay around filling your mind up with filth and feelings of worthlessness and doubt. Don't let your guard down just because he's a pretty weak, sad looking, already defeated foe. He wants to distract us so that we don't work to win anyone else into God's kingdom… he might be beaten up but he keeps fighting for that losing case of his.
BE ON GAURD! STAY SUBMITTED AND AWARE OF GOD'S DIRECTIONS!!! RESIST HIM SO HE WILL FLEE!!!
And remember this last little bit of goodness from Pastor Nick's sermon: Daniel's enemies thought they were setting him up for death and defeat by having King Darius sign a decree banning Daniel from praying to his God. They thought they would do away with him. But all they did was set Daniel up for prosperity and a promotion. Daniel stayed submitted to God. Daniel 6:28 tells us that Daniel prospered! Not only that, but King Darius made a new decree declaring his kingdom was to reverence and fear the God of Daniel.
As Pastor Nick said, "It's a set up!! God's plan is always victorious!"
Remember it's a set up of a different kind. Satan thinks he's setting you up for failure and defeat. But really, he's setting you up for the miracles of God to be performed so that you can prosper and grow.
I hope you are encouraged today to stop picturing yourself as the beat up warrior and instead see satan as a beat up lion who runs scared when you resist him and call upon God! I know that some days it feels like we are nothing more than satan's chew toy, but remember the decree (a good, true revelation) that King Darius had…
"…For He is the living God,
And steadfast forever;
His kingdom is the one which
shall not be destroyed,
And His dominion shall endure to the end.
He delivers and rescues,
And He works signs and wonders
In heaven and on earth,
Who has delivered Daniel
from the power of the lions." -Daniel 6:26-27
I went from bragging on God's goodness to my husband in teaching him to play the piano in an amazing way on an old piano that no one wanted, to sitting in the ER with him waiting to see what had happened to his right thumb… yeah, a thumb needed to play piano for the glory of God. (It's ok, because God's gonna use this for Matt's good… read on)
A host of other little things happened as well. You know, just the kind of things that satan likes to throw into the mix when you're feeling a little discouraged just to make sure you know he's still there.
I woke up this morning with a mess of things going "wrong" and really just thought about taking Maddy to school and then just going back to bed. But instead, I thought on God for awhile. I thought on the amazing church service we had yesterday morning.
Then I remembered a few things our Pastor said while preaching his fourth sermon in a series called "The Movement" about Daniel. Pastor Nick shared that he had once heard another pastor say that the devil may be a lion roaming to and fro, but he's a lion without teeth. Basically, all growl and no bite. He might be able to bite down and "gum" you but he can't really bite you. I thought on this for a little while this morning as I was eating my oatmeal.
I literally felt like my heart was thumping out of my chest with pride as I thought about what "satan lion" really looks like to me this morning because God and his army (that's all of us who believe and follow Him). It's much different than what I had pictured before.
For some reason, I pictured him as a strong, healthy lion with muscles and giant teeth that he flashed at me all the time to scare me and keep from doing what God wanted. Here I am this morning, though, seeing satan as a pretty beat up beast….
I see him with no teeth; no way to tear me apart.
I see him with spots of hair missing; hair that I have pulled out as I yanked him off of my family through prayer.
I see him with swollen black eyes; the eyes I punch when he's throwing out his lies to my face.
I see him limping; limping from the church knocking his legs right out from under him by joining in corporate prayer to see healing and restoration to those he has attacked.
I see him skinny with his ribs showing; so frail from the lack of a feast of victory because God always wins. Period.
The Bible tells us in James 4:7 to resist the devil and he will flee. I don't think I have ever really grasped the power in that verse until now. It tells us to submit ourselves to God and then when we resist the devil, he's gonna leave…. FLEE. What does flee mean? Merriam-Webster defines it this way: "to run away from danger"… ha! Just picture it! You have the ability by submitting yourself to God and His ways to make the devil run, not casually walk away from, BUT RUN because he senses danger… just by resisting him!!! That's a beat up, scared lion running away from you!!!!!!!!!
I say this with warning though. Satan is a sly guy. He wants to attack our minds and get our focus off of submitting to God. Remember if you are submitted your gonna be able to make him run away scared and not allow him to stay around filling your mind up with filth and feelings of worthlessness and doubt. Don't let your guard down just because he's a pretty weak, sad looking, already defeated foe. He wants to distract us so that we don't work to win anyone else into God's kingdom… he might be beaten up but he keeps fighting for that losing case of his.
BE ON GAURD! STAY SUBMITTED AND AWARE OF GOD'S DIRECTIONS!!! RESIST HIM SO HE WILL FLEE!!!
And remember this last little bit of goodness from Pastor Nick's sermon: Daniel's enemies thought they were setting him up for death and defeat by having King Darius sign a decree banning Daniel from praying to his God. They thought they would do away with him. But all they did was set Daniel up for prosperity and a promotion. Daniel stayed submitted to God. Daniel 6:28 tells us that Daniel prospered! Not only that, but King Darius made a new decree declaring his kingdom was to reverence and fear the God of Daniel.
As Pastor Nick said, "It's a set up!! God's plan is always victorious!"
Remember it's a set up of a different kind. Satan thinks he's setting you up for failure and defeat. But really, he's setting you up for the miracles of God to be performed so that you can prosper and grow.
I hope you are encouraged today to stop picturing yourself as the beat up warrior and instead see satan as a beat up lion who runs scared when you resist him and call upon God! I know that some days it feels like we are nothing more than satan's chew toy, but remember the decree (a good, true revelation) that King Darius had…
"…For He is the living God,
And steadfast forever;
His kingdom is the one which
shall not be destroyed,
And His dominion shall endure to the end.
He delivers and rescues,
And He works signs and wonders
In heaven and on earth,
Who has delivered Daniel
from the power of the lions." -Daniel 6:26-27
Aug 28, 2012
Sinking....
I wonder if I have made all the right choices. Nothing life changing going on... just wondering if I have always made the right decisions for myself and my family. I'm not talking about just recent decisions, I'm talking about being almost haunted by choices I made 5 years ago, 7 years ago, and even longer in some cases. And I've come to realize GRACE....
So here's my breakdown on grace....
"if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking"
Ocean is defined by BrainyQuote.com as an immense expanse; any vast space or quantity without apparent limits or a large body of water. When FreeDictionary.com talks about sinking it says sinking as it relates to a ship is to "go to the bottom of the sea or some other body of water because of damage or a collision."
Grace is ultimately something I just don't completely understand. I think even Merriam-Webster had a hard time really putting it into a box with one label.... their website lists it as a "virtue coming from God, unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification, or a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness."
So let's talk about my definition breakdown of that line from the song "How He Loves Us". We sing this song often but do we really grasp on to what the lyricist was trying to tell us about God's love? God's grace is so massive in size that they compared it to an ocean which is by definition without limits. But there's a twist in this writer's analogy. He says we are all sinking... this word sometimes has a negative connotation to it. (This is where I love to have the actual definition of words verses what I think they mean.) From what we learned previously, sinking is to go to the bottom of the sea or some other body of water because of damage. So basically, God's grace is immense and it swallows up the damaged. Think about it. We need God's grace because we are imperfect and because so often we are damaged vessels due to mistakes or storms of life. But God acts instantly and swallows up our pain and mistakes with his grace.
No one said sinking in grace was easy.
Grace is given to us for our regeneration and sanctification. Changing and growing are sometimes hard. It forces us to look at ourselves and evaluate what we have done... sometimes to even check our motives. Maybe we even feel guilty that God encompasses us with His grace despite our ship being beat to pieces by our own mistakes. But here's the deal... God's grace is free, it's given in complete love for us, and He WANTS to swallow us up in His grace just as the ocean would swallow up a sinking ship. Not to destroy us, but to allow grace to regenerate and sanctify all of us... that we would soak up His grace all the way through our very being.
"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way"
I don't have the time.... I refuse to spend my time thinking about what I should have done or what might have worked better. God's grace and love are massive. Massive enough to make up for all the things I might regret. God has given me so much to work toward and so many to minister to that I can't sit and regret. I must let his ocean of grace overtake me and I must sink in it.
Philippians 3:13-14 tells us, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Failed, I have done that... at least a thousand times. God still loved me.... every time.
I will press on. I won't look back. I will sink in God's grace.
Aug 4, 2012
How available are you?
I'm so excited for church in the morning! God has been speaking to me SO much lately.... hold, on... wait a minute... could it be that maybe I'm just listening more? Yeah, I said it... I haven't always been the best when it comes to letting God do a lot of talking. I'm completely a type A personality and I think I just wanted to tell God how it was going to be so that I still felt in control. I do believe that God has really removed a lot of the need for control in my life. I'm embracing the journey so much more instead of focusing on the agenda.
Last week, we had a guest speaker for the morning service. He made one statement that stuck in my mind all week. He said that God just needs us to make ourselves available to Him. Whoa! I spent the rest of the service thinking about how many times I have been so distracted with being busy and trying to make things happen on my own. How many times could God have worked greater things in my life if I had just made myself available?
Last night we watched a movie that continued to make me want to see what God had in store for me. A man who lived a life of drugs, crime, and alcohol accepts Christ as his Savior. He learns about going to Africa to help missionaries. While there, he goes to Sudan and sees all the children being taken by the rebels and using them for sex slavery, an army, and much more. The civil war going on there didn't hinder this man from making a change. He went home to the US and drew up plans for a church in his neighborhood and then plans for an orphanage near north Sudan. At this point, I'm thinking that the change in his heart was amazing enough and I was just happy with seeing that take place in his life. Oh what blessings would have been forfeited if I had been the one controlling this man's story.
He goes on to actually build the church and orphanage. A lot of times he worked without financial help other than his own family's money. He didn't sit on those plans that God gave him in the middle of the night. He got up and put them into action. While preaching at the church he founded one Sunday, he stated that God wasn't interested in your "good intentions". What a statement. But so true.
I want to encourage you to relinquish control of your story to God. Don't decide when it all ends for you or when you have done enough. Had this man stopped at just becoming a Christian, there would be thousands of children without shelter, food, education, and love. If you decide when you're done, you cut short the blessings and miracles that God can perform through you.
Furthermore, if you have visions from God, don't sit on them. Get up and get to work for the kingdom of God. Most of us don't accomplish what God wants us to do for His kingdom because we just won't get up. Some of us are just lazy. Some of us like to come up with a list of excuses. There is no limit to what my God can do! So why make excuses for why He can't do something? Make yourself available and see just what He can do through you!
The Bible tells us in James 2:17 that, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." If we have faith of a vision to happen, but we aren't willing to work toward it, then that faith AND vision is dead.
What do you have a vision for in your life? Make yourself available to God to work that vision out until HIS end. Does He want you to go to another country? Get your passport ready! Does He want you to start a business? Draw up the business plan and put it into action! Does He want you to preach? Write a sermon! Does He want you to witness? Go talk to the lost!
Above all... DON'T stop when you think your vision has come to pass. DON'T cut God off before HE is done. He probably has a lot more in mind if we will just make ourselves ALWAYS available to Him.
Back to me and my listening skills for a moment. I have made myself much more available to God lately. Am I without problems? No. But I can see the glory of God in so much more lately. I have seen Him work things out in crazy awesome ways just because I was listening and didn't stop when the flesh in me thought I was done.
Don't stop when your flesh says you are done. Don't sit when your flesh says it can't be done. Get up and do more than just have good intentions for the kingdom of God!
Last week, we had a guest speaker for the morning service. He made one statement that stuck in my mind all week. He said that God just needs us to make ourselves available to Him. Whoa! I spent the rest of the service thinking about how many times I have been so distracted with being busy and trying to make things happen on my own. How many times could God have worked greater things in my life if I had just made myself available?
Last night we watched a movie that continued to make me want to see what God had in store for me. A man who lived a life of drugs, crime, and alcohol accepts Christ as his Savior. He learns about going to Africa to help missionaries. While there, he goes to Sudan and sees all the children being taken by the rebels and using them for sex slavery, an army, and much more. The civil war going on there didn't hinder this man from making a change. He went home to the US and drew up plans for a church in his neighborhood and then plans for an orphanage near north Sudan. At this point, I'm thinking that the change in his heart was amazing enough and I was just happy with seeing that take place in his life. Oh what blessings would have been forfeited if I had been the one controlling this man's story.
He goes on to actually build the church and orphanage. A lot of times he worked without financial help other than his own family's money. He didn't sit on those plans that God gave him in the middle of the night. He got up and put them into action. While preaching at the church he founded one Sunday, he stated that God wasn't interested in your "good intentions". What a statement. But so true.
I want to encourage you to relinquish control of your story to God. Don't decide when it all ends for you or when you have done enough. Had this man stopped at just becoming a Christian, there would be thousands of children without shelter, food, education, and love. If you decide when you're done, you cut short the blessings and miracles that God can perform through you.
Furthermore, if you have visions from God, don't sit on them. Get up and get to work for the kingdom of God. Most of us don't accomplish what God wants us to do for His kingdom because we just won't get up. Some of us are just lazy. Some of us like to come up with a list of excuses. There is no limit to what my God can do! So why make excuses for why He can't do something? Make yourself available and see just what He can do through you!
The Bible tells us in James 2:17 that, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." If we have faith of a vision to happen, but we aren't willing to work toward it, then that faith AND vision is dead.
What do you have a vision for in your life? Make yourself available to God to work that vision out until HIS end. Does He want you to go to another country? Get your passport ready! Does He want you to start a business? Draw up the business plan and put it into action! Does He want you to preach? Write a sermon! Does He want you to witness? Go talk to the lost!
Above all... DON'T stop when you think your vision has come to pass. DON'T cut God off before HE is done. He probably has a lot more in mind if we will just make ourselves ALWAYS available to Him.
Back to me and my listening skills for a moment. I have made myself much more available to God lately. Am I without problems? No. But I can see the glory of God in so much more lately. I have seen Him work things out in crazy awesome ways just because I was listening and didn't stop when the flesh in me thought I was done.
Don't stop when your flesh says you are done. Don't sit when your flesh says it can't be done. Get up and do more than just have good intentions for the kingdom of God!
Jul 23, 2012
He spared me!
Sunday morning found me sitting in church (well, standing, praising, and even jumping). We have been blessed to experience refreshing at an amazing church filled with SO much love. Matt and I laughed as we drove there Sunday morning that we needed all the coffee and SweetTarts (a breakfast of champions) we could get to keep up with just the praise & worship part of the service. =) We LOVE it!
As the music began I could just tell that God had a special blessing for us this day. Eventually, the lyrics to "Break Every Chain" came up on the screen as the pastor sang it. He pauses at some point and says a few words. He asks every one who has ever had an addiction and had those chains broken by God to raise both hands as high as you could; be it drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc. I watched in amazement as hands flew up without hesitation and the congregation applauded. The song continued and those who raised their hands praised as they remember where their God had brought them from.
And I thought of me, the girl who has spent her whole life in church and who has never had a testimony of God pulling me out of a life of drugs, alcohol, etc. It's something I often get beat up by the enemy for. It seems silly, I know. But it used to be that I would feel like no one could ever be touched by my testimony... raised in church, came to God at 9 years old, and in ministry together with my husband since we were 17 years old. (I have since learned God has a purpose for my testimony being like it is and He has used it.) But here was Satan telling me AGAIN that my testimony was "wimpy". I was SO SICK of being attacked over that. No more. And I stood there thinking about what scripture I would throw in his face to shut him up.
When all of a sudden God reminded me of my dad. Why my dad? Because my dad was addicted to drugs by the time he was 18. He drank a lot. He was lost without God. Till one day, this man witnessed to my dad at work. My dad went home and later that night accepted God into His life and he never touched alcohol or drugs again.
I had to raise both my hands in the air as high as I could and thank God for sparing me. Tears streamed down my face as I realized He kept me from that life. I very well could have been born with a drug addict father or not even be born at all if God had not broken every chain in my dad's life.
Well, those five minutes or so that I thought of my dad and what God kept me from has totally squashed any thought that my testimony wasn't amazing. It is. See, my testimony couldn't be what it is without that moment that God broke all the chains for my dad. I was born with a father addicted to God instead of drugs and now I am addicted to God!
If you are dealing with chains that are holding you down, tearing your life apart, or choking you, you can be free! God can break every chain you have. You don't have to live with the pain. He is there with these great, big, giant, muscular arms, ready to tear those chains off of your life.
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
As the music began I could just tell that God had a special blessing for us this day. Eventually, the lyrics to "Break Every Chain" came up on the screen as the pastor sang it. He pauses at some point and says a few words. He asks every one who has ever had an addiction and had those chains broken by God to raise both hands as high as you could; be it drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc. I watched in amazement as hands flew up without hesitation and the congregation applauded. The song continued and those who raised their hands praised as they remember where their God had brought them from.
And I thought of me, the girl who has spent her whole life in church and who has never had a testimony of God pulling me out of a life of drugs, alcohol, etc. It's something I often get beat up by the enemy for. It seems silly, I know. But it used to be that I would feel like no one could ever be touched by my testimony... raised in church, came to God at 9 years old, and in ministry together with my husband since we were 17 years old. (I have since learned God has a purpose for my testimony being like it is and He has used it.) But here was Satan telling me AGAIN that my testimony was "wimpy". I was SO SICK of being attacked over that. No more. And I stood there thinking about what scripture I would throw in his face to shut him up.
When all of a sudden God reminded me of my dad. Why my dad? Because my dad was addicted to drugs by the time he was 18. He drank a lot. He was lost without God. Till one day, this man witnessed to my dad at work. My dad went home and later that night accepted God into His life and he never touched alcohol or drugs again.
I had to raise both my hands in the air as high as I could and thank God for sparing me. Tears streamed down my face as I realized He kept me from that life. I very well could have been born with a drug addict father or not even be born at all if God had not broken every chain in my dad's life.
Well, those five minutes or so that I thought of my dad and what God kept me from has totally squashed any thought that my testimony wasn't amazing. It is. See, my testimony couldn't be what it is without that moment that God broke all the chains for my dad. I was born with a father addicted to God instead of drugs and now I am addicted to God!
If you are dealing with chains that are holding you down, tearing your life apart, or choking you, you can be free! God can break every chain you have. You don't have to live with the pain. He is there with these great, big, giant, muscular arms, ready to tear those chains off of your life.
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
Jul 15, 2012
Cross Over the Lines :: WARNING - You may feel a little less judgmental!
Lately, God has just shaken me... shaken me to understand just why people won't come to God. I know that I have so many failures and at times have been hypocritical. I know that right now I have things I'm working at because I'm human and not perfect. I don't expect people to think Christians are perfect... nor do I want them to expect us to be. That's a heavy burden to carry. I want people to accept that we all are vulnerable to sin and mistakes no matter how hard we try to be as much like Christ as possible. I am human and I am going to let someone down at some point in probably every week of my life. In ministry I try to encourage those who come to me let down by others to follow what Hebrews 3:1 says, "Fix your thoughts on Jesus." He is the only one who can show a sinless and perfect way to live your life and the one who can NOT let you down.
Lately I have thought, how much do Christians as a whole have to do with the fact that we are sometimes expected to be "perfect" by others? I've heard it said, "You teach people how to treat you." Have we taught them to treat us as "high and mighty", better than the world we are charged to share Jesus with? Have we given any thought to how our "lines" have separated us from the very ones Jesus himself was around and teaching during His life? Have we gotten so "holy" that we can't reach out to a hurting person even if they don't look or act like us?
I have heard of church services lately, where homosexuals were attacked instead of loved from behind the pulpit. I won't stand around with my head in the sand pretending that "Christians" are doing their best to help others and everything is fine. The reality is that there is a lot of work that needs to be done among Christians and the entire human race, for that matter, concerning our lack of love one for another.
Just when I was feeling the most pain for how this group I was associated with (Christians) was treating people, I saw this post on a friend's Facebook that shared a link titled, "21 Pictures that will Restore Your Faith in Humanity." I was drawn to it, first, because I obviously love images. But upon scrolling through the link, I was drawn to the challenge it presented me. This is the first image I saw:
(Michelle Gantner / Maladjusted Media)
A group of Christians from Chicago went to a gay pride parade just to say that they were sorry. Here's where I'm going to lose some of you and that's alright. Why was this so TOUCHING? Because it was a group of Christians being REAL with people... admitting that they aren't perfect.
We aren't going to get anywhere in our quest to have people come to God if we are judgmental and show hate to people. I can disagree with someone, but I just can't belittle the value of their soul and the person behind the action. I just can not do it. If Jesus could come here for me and all that I have done, then how can I tell someone because they did "________" (fill in the blank), that I don't believe He can save them? But isn't that what our actions sometimes tell people? I believe that Jesus's birth, death, and resurrection are strong enough to help anyone and I believe that it was given for anyone who wants to receive Him... not just those we feel like to talking to... not just those who don't have "major" sins... not just to those who dress like me. If I avoid those people, talk bad about them, or openly say that they are horrible people - then how do I expect them to see Jesus in me? Am I showing them love or am I drawing a line that turns into a stumbling block for them?
Here's what touched me more....
This is the reaction to the signs and shirts by a parade participant. I literally cried. He embraced them AND their apology. I promise you that this act of love by these Chicago based Christians will go miles farther in helping this young man through life than the hate and condemnation that people want to throw his way. These Christians weren't saying, "I support your action." They were saying, "We are sorry for being judgmental and not reaching out to you. I am going to love you as a person & soul God made."
Matt and I are close to many people who live homosexual lives. They are some amazing people just like some of the people who fill the church pews on Sunday mornings. I believe they each know that we don't support a homosexual lifestyle, but I also believe that they each know how much we love them. We can't show hatred to them. We can't because if we did, we would be forfeiting any progress anyone has made in their lives toward showing the love of Jesus. I can't walk around with that on my hands.
It doesn't start or stop with homosexuals. I have seen too many lines draw between Christians and the homeless, the drug addict, etc. It is painful to see. We are teaching people that Christians think they are too good to reach OUT (notice I didn't say down) to help or love everyone in the human race... just like Jesus did and does.
Here's a great story:
We have a friend who was a meth addict and involved in an abusive relationship. I tried all throughout our lives to live a good life in front of her and to love her no matter what (as did my parents). I tried to be transparent with her so that she could see I wasn't perfect but I was trying. After finding out she was pregnant 5 years ago, she walked away from meth and the relationship. She has raised her child away from that situation. Then recently, she called me after church one Sunday morning and told me that she gave her life to God. She went on to thank me & my family for always showing her that God loved her. It wasn't anything special we did... it was just us letting God shine through to her no matter how poor she looked... no matter how drugged or beat up she looked. We tried to keep the lines down and God was able to use that in her life. She said that she didn't have to doubt that God could take care of her because we had shown her that.
Wouldn't you much rather hear this from someone than to hear that they are just too judgmental down at ______ church? I just want to encourage everyone (Christian or not) to love people. To show that love no matter how someone looks or acts. It doesn't mean that we participate in what they are doing, it just means that we show Jesus to them.
I love lyrics & poetry so much so I use it often to help enforce to myself what God is teaching me. Maybe it will help you remember this lesson as well. Read these lyrics by Casting Crowns:
These are sobering lyrics aren't they?
"Let our hearts be led by mercy." Mercy means to be kind and forgiving. Are you being that way in your life toward others? This is a challenge I am facing in my life... I want you to challenge yourself to the same thing. Are you showing love, mercy... JESUS to this hurting world? Christians, are you even showing it to others who sit in the same pew as you each week? Can you cross over the lines to help someone see Jesus? Can you challenge yourself to be a stepping stone and not a stumbling block in someone's path to a better life, better walk, or even to the Savior? Let us not be the ones keeping people from coming to God.
Lately I have thought, how much do Christians as a whole have to do with the fact that we are sometimes expected to be "perfect" by others? I've heard it said, "You teach people how to treat you." Have we taught them to treat us as "high and mighty", better than the world we are charged to share Jesus with? Have we given any thought to how our "lines" have separated us from the very ones Jesus himself was around and teaching during His life? Have we gotten so "holy" that we can't reach out to a hurting person even if they don't look or act like us?
I have heard of church services lately, where homosexuals were attacked instead of loved from behind the pulpit. I won't stand around with my head in the sand pretending that "Christians" are doing their best to help others and everything is fine. The reality is that there is a lot of work that needs to be done among Christians and the entire human race, for that matter, concerning our lack of love one for another.
Just when I was feeling the most pain for how this group I was associated with (Christians) was treating people, I saw this post on a friend's Facebook that shared a link titled, "21 Pictures that will Restore Your Faith in Humanity." I was drawn to it, first, because I obviously love images. But upon scrolling through the link, I was drawn to the challenge it presented me. This is the first image I saw:
A group of Christians from Chicago went to a gay pride parade just to say that they were sorry. Here's where I'm going to lose some of you and that's alright. Why was this so TOUCHING? Because it was a group of Christians being REAL with people... admitting that they aren't perfect.
We aren't going to get anywhere in our quest to have people come to God if we are judgmental and show hate to people. I can disagree with someone, but I just can't belittle the value of their soul and the person behind the action. I just can not do it. If Jesus could come here for me and all that I have done, then how can I tell someone because they did "________" (fill in the blank), that I don't believe He can save them? But isn't that what our actions sometimes tell people? I believe that Jesus's birth, death, and resurrection are strong enough to help anyone and I believe that it was given for anyone who wants to receive Him... not just those we feel like to talking to... not just those who don't have "major" sins... not just to those who dress like me. If I avoid those people, talk bad about them, or openly say that they are horrible people - then how do I expect them to see Jesus in me? Am I showing them love or am I drawing a line that turns into a stumbling block for them?
Here's what touched me more....
This is the reaction to the signs and shirts by a parade participant. I literally cried. He embraced them AND their apology. I promise you that this act of love by these Chicago based Christians will go miles farther in helping this young man through life than the hate and condemnation that people want to throw his way. These Christians weren't saying, "I support your action." They were saying, "We are sorry for being judgmental and not reaching out to you. I am going to love you as a person & soul God made."
Matt and I are close to many people who live homosexual lives. They are some amazing people just like some of the people who fill the church pews on Sunday mornings. I believe they each know that we don't support a homosexual lifestyle, but I also believe that they each know how much we love them. We can't show hatred to them. We can't because if we did, we would be forfeiting any progress anyone has made in their lives toward showing the love of Jesus. I can't walk around with that on my hands.
It doesn't start or stop with homosexuals. I have seen too many lines draw between Christians and the homeless, the drug addict, etc. It is painful to see. We are teaching people that Christians think they are too good to reach OUT (notice I didn't say down) to help or love everyone in the human race... just like Jesus did and does.
Here's a great story:
We have a friend who was a meth addict and involved in an abusive relationship. I tried all throughout our lives to live a good life in front of her and to love her no matter what (as did my parents). I tried to be transparent with her so that she could see I wasn't perfect but I was trying. After finding out she was pregnant 5 years ago, she walked away from meth and the relationship. She has raised her child away from that situation. Then recently, she called me after church one Sunday morning and told me that she gave her life to God. She went on to thank me & my family for always showing her that God loved her. It wasn't anything special we did... it was just us letting God shine through to her no matter how poor she looked... no matter how drugged or beat up she looked. We tried to keep the lines down and God was able to use that in her life. She said that she didn't have to doubt that God could take care of her because we had shown her that.
Wouldn't you much rather hear this from someone than to hear that they are just too judgmental down at ______ church? I just want to encourage everyone (Christian or not) to love people. To show that love no matter how someone looks or acts. It doesn't mean that we participate in what they are doing, it just means that we show Jesus to them.
I love lyrics & poetry so much so I use it often to help enforce to myself what God is teaching me. Maybe it will help you remember this lesson as well. Read these lyrics by Casting Crowns:
Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
Yeah...
Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours
And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
Yeah...
Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours
You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours
And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet
"Let our hearts be led by mercy." Mercy means to be kind and forgiving. Are you being that way in your life toward others? This is a challenge I am facing in my life... I want you to challenge yourself to the same thing. Are you showing love, mercy... JESUS to this hurting world? Christians, are you even showing it to others who sit in the same pew as you each week? Can you cross over the lines to help someone see Jesus? Can you challenge yourself to be a stepping stone and not a stumbling block in someone's path to a better life, better walk, or even to the Savior? Let us not be the ones keeping people from coming to God.
Jul 9, 2012
Take the Limits Off....
It's been a very long time since I wrote anything. Lately, I have felt God calling me towards many things, but just about everyday, I feel Him drawing me back to writing. So, here I am. I just sat and read my past posts. I thought about deleting them and starting fresh because I'm not really at the same place in my life now as I was when I wrote the previous posts. Then I realized that someone out there is where I once was and they may need what God said through me then.
As I was reading, I came to this post:
Preparing for the Blessings!
I STILL love what I wrote in this post. It is applicable to my life even now. In fact, it helped me as I was reading it again. It also encouraged me as I realized that God had helped much of what we were preparing for to come to pass.
Today, Matt & I went to our friends' church for a morning service, One Life Church. The minister was sharing about why we want more. He went through a great description of what happened in the beginning when God created the earth and eventually humans. Basically, we want more because we are made in the image of a God who is a God of more. We have to want more of the right things in our life. I think I kind of stopped listening (oh no! yes, I admit it... BUT I admit I stopped listening to LISTEN to God), at the point that the minister said that we want to ask, "Didn't Adam & Eve know that God was everything they needed, that He was their best friend?" It's true, we want to sit here on our "we're so intelligent chair" and get onto Adam and Eve for their mistake and for not obeying God. Let's be honest, we KNOW that God is everything we need and that He is our best friend, but how many times do we try to figure it all out for God and tell HIM how to make it happen for us. But aren't we just putting God in a box by doing that?
So, after lunch with those friends, we went to Starbucks to continue our conversation. While waiting for our coffee, I took a glance at facebook on my phone. I came across a status update by a friend that said, "12 weeks today! I guess that means it's time to tell Facebook land that WE'RE HAVIN' A BABY!! Yep. Adopt two kids, lose 65 pounds, downsize your car, and get pregnant. Haha! I guess God just knew we needed the boys 1st and I needed to be healthier anyway. We're still a little in shock, but I like surprises, so it's ok. :)" What you don't know by just reading her status, is that this friend tried to have her own children but then walked into a calling meant for a special group of people. Her and her husband became foster parents and, eventually, were blessed to adopt two amazing boys. I was thrilled when I read this and had to take time to thank God for this blessing.
Fast forward a little to church this evening at Courts of Praise Church. God spoke to me about the limitations I put on God just by telling Him how to make things happen for me. How much am I limiting God by telling Him how to get me to where I know he wants me to be? What if my friend had limited God in how she could become a parent? She would have missed out on two amazing sons. I don't want to limit God anymore with my ideas and the solutions that I have worked out for Him to use.
I encourage you to stop limiting God, stop trying to make a way for God and let Him be the one to make a way. Don't you know that He is your best friend and He is all you need? He will get you to where He wants you to be in His own way if you let Him... in the meantime, He will have you on a journey that might pour out way more blessing into your life than "your way" would have provided. Trust that He is all you need and that He is your best friend.
This all reminded me of one of my favorite songs by Israel Houghton. The song says....
I'm not a man
I cannot lie
I know the plans for your life
I'm asking you to dream again
To believe again and take the limits off of Me
I'm not a man
I cannot lie
I know the plans
They're My design
I'm asking you to hope again
And trust again and take the limits off of Me
All I'm asking is take the limits off
Take the limits off
Release Me to accomplish what I promised to do
Take the limits off
Take the limits off,....
No limits, no boundaries
I see increase all around me
Stretch forth, break forth
Release me...enlarge my territory.
I encourage you to take the limits off of God. He knows the plan, you are His design, and He wants you to dream again of possibilities instead thinking of solutions. There is a big difference. One is an end or resolve, but to dream is to see no limitations and to have something to aspire to. Trust God and let Him accomplish what He promised He would in your life. I know that right now you might be thinking of the very thing you know He promised you... I am. Just know that He can't lie. If He said it, then He will do it. Just stop limiting how & when He does it and just enjoy where He takes you while you are on your journey to the promise.
As I was reading, I came to this post:
Preparing for the Blessings!
I STILL love what I wrote in this post. It is applicable to my life even now. In fact, it helped me as I was reading it again. It also encouraged me as I realized that God had helped much of what we were preparing for to come to pass.
Today, Matt & I went to our friends' church for a morning service, One Life Church. The minister was sharing about why we want more. He went through a great description of what happened in the beginning when God created the earth and eventually humans. Basically, we want more because we are made in the image of a God who is a God of more. We have to want more of the right things in our life. I think I kind of stopped listening (oh no! yes, I admit it... BUT I admit I stopped listening to LISTEN to God), at the point that the minister said that we want to ask, "Didn't Adam & Eve know that God was everything they needed, that He was their best friend?" It's true, we want to sit here on our "we're so intelligent chair" and get onto Adam and Eve for their mistake and for not obeying God. Let's be honest, we KNOW that God is everything we need and that He is our best friend, but how many times do we try to figure it all out for God and tell HIM how to make it happen for us. But aren't we just putting God in a box by doing that?
So, after lunch with those friends, we went to Starbucks to continue our conversation. While waiting for our coffee, I took a glance at facebook on my phone. I came across a status update by a friend that said, "12 weeks today! I guess that means it's time to tell Facebook land that WE'RE HAVIN' A BABY!! Yep. Adopt two kids, lose 65 pounds, downsize your car, and get pregnant. Haha! I guess God just knew we needed the boys 1st and I needed to be healthier anyway. We're still a little in shock, but I like surprises, so it's ok. :)" What you don't know by just reading her status, is that this friend tried to have her own children but then walked into a calling meant for a special group of people. Her and her husband became foster parents and, eventually, were blessed to adopt two amazing boys. I was thrilled when I read this and had to take time to thank God for this blessing.
Fast forward a little to church this evening at Courts of Praise Church. God spoke to me about the limitations I put on God just by telling Him how to make things happen for me. How much am I limiting God by telling Him how to get me to where I know he wants me to be? What if my friend had limited God in how she could become a parent? She would have missed out on two amazing sons. I don't want to limit God anymore with my ideas and the solutions that I have worked out for Him to use.
I encourage you to stop limiting God, stop trying to make a way for God and let Him be the one to make a way. Don't you know that He is your best friend and He is all you need? He will get you to where He wants you to be in His own way if you let Him... in the meantime, He will have you on a journey that might pour out way more blessing into your life than "your way" would have provided. Trust that He is all you need and that He is your best friend.
This all reminded me of one of my favorite songs by Israel Houghton. The song says....
I'm not a man
I cannot lie
I know the plans for your life
I'm asking you to dream again
To believe again and take the limits off of Me
I'm not a man
I cannot lie
I know the plans
They're My design
I'm asking you to hope again
And trust again and take the limits off of Me
All I'm asking is take the limits off
Take the limits off
Release Me to accomplish what I promised to do
Take the limits off
Take the limits off,....
No limits, no boundaries
I see increase all around me
Stretch forth, break forth
Release me...enlarge my territory.
I encourage you to take the limits off of God. He knows the plan, you are His design, and He wants you to dream again of possibilities instead thinking of solutions. There is a big difference. One is an end or resolve, but to dream is to see no limitations and to have something to aspire to. Trust God and let Him accomplish what He promised He would in your life. I know that right now you might be thinking of the very thing you know He promised you... I am. Just know that He can't lie. If He said it, then He will do it. Just stop limiting how & when He does it and just enjoy where He takes you while you are on your journey to the promise.
May 25, 2011
Realizations
Wow! It's been awhile since I last blogged. I have made a lot of changes in my life that have been God directed and prayerfully entered into. I began by dealing with the constant stress I felt in my life that made me feel rushed and as if I wasn't really listening to anyone... especially my children. It came to a head when my oldest said, "Mommy, I miss you." Yet she hadn't been apart from me other than school. I realized that I was spending a lot of time working... but then I got really honest with myself and realized how much time I wasted helping other people that seemed to only be manipulating me to do such for their own benefit. I love to help people, but God has taught me that I need to protect my family first and foremost. When you help someone that genuinely needs it and because God has directed you do so, you feel joy... not as if you have just been robbed of your joy. I began a conversation with God about what should find its way out of my life. First, those who spitefully use me... people who prided themselves in not being someone who hurt others or used people turned out to be just that. I look back and realize how little I got from some relationships and it hurts. Not that I should seek benefit from others, but that relationships should be about giving a little on both sides in the hopes of helping each other along the way. I poured so much of myself into some others and so little into my family. The decision to get that out of my life seemed easy, but when you are someone who never wants to hurt others, it took some warming up to the idea before I took action. Again, God took time to make it evident to me that I was doing right by bringing more and more issues to the mirror for me concerning those who didn't have my best interest at heart... those who claimed love but yet didn't even realize what I was or wasn't capable of doing in our relationships. It always hurts to find out that someone could believe the worse about you without even giving it a second thought... To someone like me that hurts the confidence. I believed that if someone could think that about me, then I must really be an awful person. Praise God for an awesome husband, great friend, amazing mother, and patient God! I realized that I am not the worse that some people choose to believe about me and I should NEVER take something like that and own it... it should be thrown out as soon as it falls on my ears.
Since the beginning of this particular journey with God, I have spent so much more time helping my family grow in God. I have given up significant time on the phone each day. My daughter now hears me talk to her when I pick her up in the afternoon instead of hearing the tail end of a conversation with someone else on the phone. I now give myself a little more time to edit my photographs for clients. I still pretty much get them done in the same amount of time, but if my girls want to go have a picnic in the front yard, we do so without me stressing about deadlines. Now I have date nights on the couch watching a favorite TV show or movie with my hubby as opposed to trying to catch up on work because I was too preoccupied during the day to get my edits done for that day. I am working on a daily schedule which is constantly changing due to new activities and school being out. We want to be able to allow me time raising our children, but still run this awesome business that God blessed me with.
God has really blessed me with amazing children who love me despite my faults and despite my struggles. The past two years, I have taken my eyes off of who really matters... my eyes are now directed toward my family and the kingdom of God. I don't pretend to be perfect on this blog. I try to stay very transparent. And I believe if we were all honest, we would see how we have used people for our own gain. I also believe that if we evaluated how much time we spend really listening to our children, we would be in shock. Time yourself one day... just the times you are totally engaged with your child with no distractions. Unless you are super mom or have been through what God has been teaching me lately, I would say that number is small. It is a total shame. I cried for such a long time when this came to me... thank you God that stuff is out of my life that caused me to put my home last. I still have a way to go and a lot of things to weed out of my life, but I feel like each day I get to take deeper and deeper breaths. My stress level has dropped. I am off of anxiety meds. My TMJ issues are a lot less bothersome. I had a lot of people try to offer me advice while I dealt with a lot of events the past two years. None of them compared to what I knew would be best... God holding my hand as he walked me through my life. It was as if He was allowing me to look down on myself and see the big picture of what was happening at little moments in my life. And I have realized what things have stressed me. I have realized that people are cruel. I have realized that people gossip. I have realized that people manipulate. I have realized that it's alright to let go.... but... I have realized that their are some people who love me. I have realized that a sweet comment from a friend hours away can make my day because I know they truly mean it and have no ulterior motive. I have realized who cares. I have realized that 20 minutes with my girls is better than any one hour conversation with someone. I have realized that laughing with my husband can make a smile stay for hours. I have realized who really needs my help and where God wants to me to focus my gifts. I have realized that God is by far the best father, protector, provider, and friend I will ever have. He is my everything and I am His. We are on an amazing journey together... raising a family, being a wife, loving my job, and serving His kingdom. He is SO good to me!
Since the beginning of this particular journey with God, I have spent so much more time helping my family grow in God. I have given up significant time on the phone each day. My daughter now hears me talk to her when I pick her up in the afternoon instead of hearing the tail end of a conversation with someone else on the phone. I now give myself a little more time to edit my photographs for clients. I still pretty much get them done in the same amount of time, but if my girls want to go have a picnic in the front yard, we do so without me stressing about deadlines. Now I have date nights on the couch watching a favorite TV show or movie with my hubby as opposed to trying to catch up on work because I was too preoccupied during the day to get my edits done for that day. I am working on a daily schedule which is constantly changing due to new activities and school being out. We want to be able to allow me time raising our children, but still run this awesome business that God blessed me with.
God has really blessed me with amazing children who love me despite my faults and despite my struggles. The past two years, I have taken my eyes off of who really matters... my eyes are now directed toward my family and the kingdom of God. I don't pretend to be perfect on this blog. I try to stay very transparent. And I believe if we were all honest, we would see how we have used people for our own gain. I also believe that if we evaluated how much time we spend really listening to our children, we would be in shock. Time yourself one day... just the times you are totally engaged with your child with no distractions. Unless you are super mom or have been through what God has been teaching me lately, I would say that number is small. It is a total shame. I cried for such a long time when this came to me... thank you God that stuff is out of my life that caused me to put my home last. I still have a way to go and a lot of things to weed out of my life, but I feel like each day I get to take deeper and deeper breaths. My stress level has dropped. I am off of anxiety meds. My TMJ issues are a lot less bothersome. I had a lot of people try to offer me advice while I dealt with a lot of events the past two years. None of them compared to what I knew would be best... God holding my hand as he walked me through my life. It was as if He was allowing me to look down on myself and see the big picture of what was happening at little moments in my life. And I have realized what things have stressed me. I have realized that people are cruel. I have realized that people gossip. I have realized that people manipulate. I have realized that it's alright to let go.... but... I have realized that their are some people who love me. I have realized that a sweet comment from a friend hours away can make my day because I know they truly mean it and have no ulterior motive. I have realized who cares. I have realized that 20 minutes with my girls is better than any one hour conversation with someone. I have realized that laughing with my husband can make a smile stay for hours. I have realized who really needs my help and where God wants to me to focus my gifts. I have realized that God is by far the best father, protector, provider, and friend I will ever have. He is my everything and I am His. We are on an amazing journey together... raising a family, being a wife, loving my job, and serving His kingdom. He is SO good to me!
Mar 29, 2011
Behold, I am here, Lord.
In high school and college, I would tear through my Bible with wild abandonment.... I had the time, I had the passion. Jesus was my best friend! I had VERY few people that I could call a real friend and honestly spent most of high school hanging out with adults. But today, I praise God for something that most people wouldn't.... I praise God that I had very few friends, that I had the time... and that I poured myself into reading His word. BECAUSE, here I sit today, busy as can be. Two amazing children to raise, a wonderful husband to spend life with, a business to run, a home to take care of, bills to pay, family members to take care of, etc. I sat in church on Sunday and thought about how little time I get to spend tearing through my Bible with wild abandonment, taking it all in. And when I did, I thought of scripture that God made my motto all through high school and college. "...Behold, I am here, Lord." - Acts 9:10
What stuck out to me then was that Ananias went to lay hands on Saul even though he was afraid of what Saul could do to him. I was impressed that he laid aside his fear and ran to do the work of the Lord. As you can imagine, I was probably a lot more timid than I am now. I had a hard time standing up for myself, let alone standing up for God to someone who could choose to kill me. Ananias was a super hero to me.
But what sticks out to me today with all these responsibilities surrounding me is that as soon as God said his name, Ananias's immediate response was, "Behold, I am here, Lord." He didn't say, "Hold that thought while I get this email out!" or "Hang on, I gotta go get groceries." He simply said, without hesitation, "Behold, I am here, Lord." HERE I AM!!!! What do you need? Yes, he hesitated a little when the job description was given, but he was still at God's beckoning call.
Today, Ananias is my super hero for another reason. He is reminding me that my answer should always be, "Behold, I am here, Lord." Ananias could have simply ignored God. But instead he chose greatness. He chose to hear God, to follow God, to put Him first above all other things. He chose to change history with His main man, God. Ananias chose to go to Saul and lay hands on him so that he could receive his sight. So basically, Ananias was God's front man to helping the start-up of Paul's ministry. How many times have we put God off until he has chosen another vessel to help achieve amazing things?
I'm taking this to heart. I say it all the time, "God, family......" But too often it's God that is last. I want to be a part of the awesomeness that God is! I want to tear through his word hearing from Him. I want to be the one that God can call on to get things done when he wants, not when there's time.
"Behold, I am here, Lord."
What stuck out to me then was that Ananias went to lay hands on Saul even though he was afraid of what Saul could do to him. I was impressed that he laid aside his fear and ran to do the work of the Lord. As you can imagine, I was probably a lot more timid than I am now. I had a hard time standing up for myself, let alone standing up for God to someone who could choose to kill me. Ananias was a super hero to me.
But what sticks out to me today with all these responsibilities surrounding me is that as soon as God said his name, Ananias's immediate response was, "Behold, I am here, Lord." He didn't say, "Hold that thought while I get this email out!" or "Hang on, I gotta go get groceries." He simply said, without hesitation, "Behold, I am here, Lord." HERE I AM!!!! What do you need? Yes, he hesitated a little when the job description was given, but he was still at God's beckoning call.
Today, Ananias is my super hero for another reason. He is reminding me that my answer should always be, "Behold, I am here, Lord." Ananias could have simply ignored God. But instead he chose greatness. He chose to hear God, to follow God, to put Him first above all other things. He chose to change history with His main man, God. Ananias chose to go to Saul and lay hands on him so that he could receive his sight. So basically, Ananias was God's front man to helping the start-up of Paul's ministry. How many times have we put God off until he has chosen another vessel to help achieve amazing things?
I'm taking this to heart. I say it all the time, "God, family......" But too often it's God that is last. I want to be a part of the awesomeness that God is! I want to tear through his word hearing from Him. I want to be the one that God can call on to get things done when he wants, not when there's time.
"Behold, I am here, Lord."
Mar 7, 2011
What a Day!
I learned a lot today.
(I write this not for advice or solutions, but to let it out - to process what I learned today in hopes it might help one of you by my being transparent.)
It was an absolutely frustrating day from the very beginning... I'm talking like 2am. It just continued throughout the day. I'm so frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with some of my choices. I'm frustrated with my lack of faith. I'm frustrated to think that I have been scared to death to lose friends so easily like I have in the past. (But praise God, the friendships in my life that matter are God given right now and aren't going anywhere.... I learned that today!) I'm frustrated with what is going on with Reagan's little tummy. I am frustrated that my grandmother has to deal with the things she does as she grieves. I am frustrated that my daddy has to deal with what he does. I am frustrated that my husband works everyday so hard and we still struggle... and the gas prices don't help... So I'm frustrated with gas prices, too! I am frustrated with my business plan. I am frustrated with my inability to be able to get down and play with my children more often. I am frustrated with the state of my home right now... it doesn't know what it was like when it was clean all the time. I'm frustrated that I can't help people like I want to. And so much more....
And, honestly, I laid on the couch and moped for a long time today. And then God does what He does so well, and started opening doors for me. I got three phone calls today and some emails. Booked some great stuff and quoted some others. I had a nice heart to heart with a friend. I had a nice heart to heart with my husband. And sitting on the verge of climbing my mountain to get out of this valley, I realize a lot...
I realize that I'm blessed to have been able to make some of the choices I have been able to make - like stay at home to raise my kids even though it wasn't easy! I realize I have faith, I'm just vulnerable right now and I'm fighting the enemy... which then made me realize that God must think I'm something or I wouldn't have so much to fight against. I realized that God placed some amazing people and family in my life. I realized that even though Reagan has tummy problems, I have two sweet baby girls that God gave me to love. I realized that my grandmother and our entire family was blessed to have had this man, Paddy Paw to love. I realize that my daddy is so patient and lets God radiate to others like I have never even come close to doing. I realized I am blessed to have a husband who does work hard everyday to provide for us. I realized that I am blessed to have a business doing what I love no matter how profitable it is or isn't, it's what I love. I realized today that this reality check got me thinking and I went outside and played hide-n-seek with my girls... I realized I have some great kids that I should spend more time playing with than trying to provide for sometimes. I realized that I am blessed, so blessed, to have a house to get dirty! I realized because of some amazing people's words, that I do help people more than I realize.
My plan for tomorrow is to hold my head up high and praise God! “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV No matter how bad I see it as being... my God has my back. I don't know how it will work out, but He always makes it work out... even when I feel alone. Tomorrow I will praise God! Tomorrow I will put into action my faith. Tomorrow I will be grateful for what I do have. Tomorrow I will have hope for a better future.
But my plan for tonight is to breath in the love of God that surrounds me. To love Him. To seek Him. My plan for tonight is to let Him hug me all night as I sleep. My plan for tonight is let God heal my hurting heart. To let God grab my hand and pull me out of this funk I have been in since this fall. My plan is to let myself grieve a little tonight - to cry if I need to. I have far more to be thankful for than I have want of. I have a grandfather in Heaven with Jesus and a great group of family and friends surrounding me here on earth. Thank you God for your love for me even when I feel so inadequate and when I have pity parties. Thank you for helping me realize that I have been missing out on life lately. That the joys you have put in front of me, I have missed because I have been hurting so badly.
God taught me a lot today. I don't ever want to forget it! My life is in His hands... I have to let go of what I think I can fix on my own and hold tight to the one who can fix everything... He saved my soul from condemnation.
Rom 15:13 (Phi) "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in your faith, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope."
(I write this not for advice or solutions, but to let it out - to process what I learned today in hopes it might help one of you by my being transparent.)
It was an absolutely frustrating day from the very beginning... I'm talking like 2am. It just continued throughout the day. I'm so frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with some of my choices. I'm frustrated with my lack of faith. I'm frustrated to think that I have been scared to death to lose friends so easily like I have in the past. (But praise God, the friendships in my life that matter are God given right now and aren't going anywhere.... I learned that today!) I'm frustrated with what is going on with Reagan's little tummy. I am frustrated that my grandmother has to deal with the things she does as she grieves. I am frustrated that my daddy has to deal with what he does. I am frustrated that my husband works everyday so hard and we still struggle... and the gas prices don't help... So I'm frustrated with gas prices, too! I am frustrated with my business plan. I am frustrated with my inability to be able to get down and play with my children more often. I am frustrated with the state of my home right now... it doesn't know what it was like when it was clean all the time. I'm frustrated that I can't help people like I want to. And so much more....
And, honestly, I laid on the couch and moped for a long time today. And then God does what He does so well, and started opening doors for me. I got three phone calls today and some emails. Booked some great stuff and quoted some others. I had a nice heart to heart with a friend. I had a nice heart to heart with my husband. And sitting on the verge of climbing my mountain to get out of this valley, I realize a lot...
I realize that I'm blessed to have been able to make some of the choices I have been able to make - like stay at home to raise my kids even though it wasn't easy! I realize I have faith, I'm just vulnerable right now and I'm fighting the enemy... which then made me realize that God must think I'm something or I wouldn't have so much to fight against. I realized that God placed some amazing people and family in my life. I realized that even though Reagan has tummy problems, I have two sweet baby girls that God gave me to love. I realized that my grandmother and our entire family was blessed to have had this man, Paddy Paw to love. I realize that my daddy is so patient and lets God radiate to others like I have never even come close to doing. I realized I am blessed to have a husband who does work hard everyday to provide for us. I realized that I am blessed to have a business doing what I love no matter how profitable it is or isn't, it's what I love. I realized today that this reality check got me thinking and I went outside and played hide-n-seek with my girls... I realized I have some great kids that I should spend more time playing with than trying to provide for sometimes. I realized that I am blessed, so blessed, to have a house to get dirty! I realized because of some amazing people's words, that I do help people more than I realize.
My plan for tomorrow is to hold my head up high and praise God! “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV No matter how bad I see it as being... my God has my back. I don't know how it will work out, but He always makes it work out... even when I feel alone. Tomorrow I will praise God! Tomorrow I will put into action my faith. Tomorrow I will be grateful for what I do have. Tomorrow I will have hope for a better future.
But my plan for tonight is to breath in the love of God that surrounds me. To love Him. To seek Him. My plan for tonight is to let Him hug me all night as I sleep. My plan for tonight is let God heal my hurting heart. To let God grab my hand and pull me out of this funk I have been in since this fall. My plan is to let myself grieve a little tonight - to cry if I need to. I have far more to be thankful for than I have want of. I have a grandfather in Heaven with Jesus and a great group of family and friends surrounding me here on earth. Thank you God for your love for me even when I feel so inadequate and when I have pity parties. Thank you for helping me realize that I have been missing out on life lately. That the joys you have put in front of me, I have missed because I have been hurting so badly.
God taught me a lot today. I don't ever want to forget it! My life is in His hands... I have to let go of what I think I can fix on my own and hold tight to the one who can fix everything... He saved my soul from condemnation.
Rom 15:13 (Phi) "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in your faith, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope."
Feb 22, 2011
My Problems....so little....
I've been meaning to blog lately about all the feelings and frustrations I have been having. And I'm still going to, I'm just hoping to make myself realize how truly blessed I am... to make you realize how blessed you are.
Ok, I have only a few people who I tell all my problems to... and honestly, they don't hear as much as God does. Here is what I have been facing... (Promise I need no pity party, just need to make these points to get to my next one...which is good!)
1- Feeling worthless. I have put way to much emphasis on my successes equaling my self worth. Just because I don't book this week doesn't mean I am worth nothing. I can honestly say that I have learned this week that it just means God thinks I am worth a lot and has my back. Sessions during some weeks would be something else for sure! Just because I don't get everything on my list accomplished each day doesn't mean I failed. Sometimes it means that I deemed holding my baby girls in my arms as more important than processing pictures. That is not failing... that is grabbing all the precious moments I possibly can with my girls before they are all grown... that is success. I tell myself each day that I am a princess of the Most High God. I AM WORTHY!
2- I recently went out of my comfort zone and emailed/talked to several who have called on me from time to time to lay out business goals, give nothing short of photography and editing lessons, and so much more. I decide to no longer mentor anyone. Why? Well, it goes against my good nature. I want to help everyone and I LOVE teaching this business. But when it started to be painful and actually hinder my own business I stood up for myself. Was this decision easy? No. Did it hurt people's feelings? Probably. Did I feel better? No. Not when I did it, but I know my stress will be lower and I will no longer feel used when I see my ideas used immediately after I just used them... or even better, I will feel so much better knowing that people are going to have to learn the real art and business of photography on their own. I hate when people call themselves a photographer but refuse to learn the skills and technology needed to be a "true" photographer. It makes me feel as if I am helping my fellow photogs and the reputation I have noticed us having lately. What is that reputation? Well, when people ask my occupation, I get responses like "Ain't everybody in Tennessee a photographer?" Makes me furious! Do they know how many, many hours I have put into learning over the past 7+ years? When my kids go to bed, I learn. This is serious to me and I just don't think I can take pictures because I have a halfway nice camera. I am putting my foot down. You really have to impress me for me to give you advice now days. And guess what I don't stress about people using me in that way anymore. Ahhh... deep breath taken.
3- Feeling deadlines breathing down my neck... makes me shiver. I hate being late and I have been doing a lot of it lately. I think that God is trying to continue His lesson that I am not in control. I'm learning God... slowly, but I am learning!
4- Stress! I think based on the previous 3, it goes without saying that I am stressed. But here's something very few know about. I have struggled with anxiety and stress and panic probably my whole life, but it's been documented for the past 11 years. I take a mild dosage of anti-anxiety medication for generalized anxiety disorder. Do I think that this means I am going to hell or that I don't have enough faith? No. In fact, I have been in a few church services in my days in which some of the very ministers who may read this blog have said things like, "You don't need some drug to make your mind right. You just need Jesus." I agree I just need Jesus. But Jesus gave doctors wisdom for a reason. Does this mean I haven't prayed for a healing? No. I have prayed and do pray, but for now I know that it is me who has to have a drug in order to not have a panic attack each day. So, the next time you criticise someone who takes it, THINK! My disorder isn't because of what someone did in my childhood or something evil I did. I have a medically proven imbalance of serotonin in my brain. All in all the stress is getting me right now. But God is opening my eyes to ways to handle it better. Making me appreciate the blessing of a chest that breaths easy and a mind that doesn't race even more than if I just had an instant healing. Has this been easy? No. But I realize why God is taking me through it and I know what Satan is fighting me more and more... because I am getting closer to the realizations that God has for my life.
5 - TMJ just... well, sucks for lack of better word. Obviuosly somewhat related to the above mentioned stress. EVERYDAY I live with ringing in my ears and pain in my ears and face. Some days I have horrible headaches just like migraines just minus the vomitting. It is a horrible thing to live with. I am struggling to find doctors to help with this. My chriopractor has worked wonders though... LOVE you Dr. Holt.
6 - Am I a good Mommy? I will never be what I think I should be. I want to just be half as good as my mother was. I don't have much to say on this because I have just accepted that I will most always have this question in my head... I think it means I AM a good Mommy that I care enough to ask that question and evaluate myself for my children's sake.
7 - A variety of other things... Aging grandparents, missing grandparents, running a business, finding time for God (I hate that term, but I must get better at it really), listening to friends, etc.
Ok, to the real point that I wanted to make... I thought of all these things and so much more lately that I wanted to blog about. I don't know if I thought that laying it all out there for the world would make me feel better or what. But this morning I woke up to a mess. Emails, things not done right, and banks closed just made for a rough morning. Then I scrolled down my facebook news feed to see that one of my really good friends had some horrible news. Her daughter is just over a month old and has pnuemonia. She is on a ventilator. She found her blue and limp this morning. My morning didn't start off too bad then did it? I had a reality check. Yes, people are stealing my copyrighted pictures today,... and yes, Reagan pooped a little in her panties... and yes, I couldn't go to the bank... BUT my babies are safe. God you are way too good! I have prayed all day for baby Caroline. And I have thanked God for what Baby Caroline has taught me today. That even on my crummiest day, it is better than someone else's. Put your problems into perspective. Your kids may scream. Your hubby may be working long hours like mine. You may meed to get errands done but stuff just keeps happening. BUT you don't have to be where my friend Marie is right now. I have been there. It's the hardest thing I ever went through in my life. To see your baby so sick. I learned this lesson once and I will learn it many more times. That while my problems are still important and mean something to God, they are still far less important than someone else's.
Ok, I have only a few people who I tell all my problems to... and honestly, they don't hear as much as God does. Here is what I have been facing... (Promise I need no pity party, just need to make these points to get to my next one...which is good!)
1- Feeling worthless. I have put way to much emphasis on my successes equaling my self worth. Just because I don't book this week doesn't mean I am worth nothing. I can honestly say that I have learned this week that it just means God thinks I am worth a lot and has my back. Sessions during some weeks would be something else for sure! Just because I don't get everything on my list accomplished each day doesn't mean I failed. Sometimes it means that I deemed holding my baby girls in my arms as more important than processing pictures. That is not failing... that is grabbing all the precious moments I possibly can with my girls before they are all grown... that is success. I tell myself each day that I am a princess of the Most High God. I AM WORTHY!
2- I recently went out of my comfort zone and emailed/talked to several who have called on me from time to time to lay out business goals, give nothing short of photography and editing lessons, and so much more. I decide to no longer mentor anyone. Why? Well, it goes against my good nature. I want to help everyone and I LOVE teaching this business. But when it started to be painful and actually hinder my own business I stood up for myself. Was this decision easy? No. Did it hurt people's feelings? Probably. Did I feel better? No. Not when I did it, but I know my stress will be lower and I will no longer feel used when I see my ideas used immediately after I just used them... or even better, I will feel so much better knowing that people are going to have to learn the real art and business of photography on their own. I hate when people call themselves a photographer but refuse to learn the skills and technology needed to be a "true" photographer. It makes me feel as if I am helping my fellow photogs and the reputation I have noticed us having lately. What is that reputation? Well, when people ask my occupation, I get responses like "Ain't everybody in Tennessee a photographer?" Makes me furious! Do they know how many, many hours I have put into learning over the past 7+ years? When my kids go to bed, I learn. This is serious to me and I just don't think I can take pictures because I have a halfway nice camera. I am putting my foot down. You really have to impress me for me to give you advice now days. And guess what I don't stress about people using me in that way anymore. Ahhh... deep breath taken.
3- Feeling deadlines breathing down my neck... makes me shiver. I hate being late and I have been doing a lot of it lately. I think that God is trying to continue His lesson that I am not in control. I'm learning God... slowly, but I am learning!
4- Stress! I think based on the previous 3, it goes without saying that I am stressed. But here's something very few know about. I have struggled with anxiety and stress and panic probably my whole life, but it's been documented for the past 11 years. I take a mild dosage of anti-anxiety medication for generalized anxiety disorder. Do I think that this means I am going to hell or that I don't have enough faith? No. In fact, I have been in a few church services in my days in which some of the very ministers who may read this blog have said things like, "You don't need some drug to make your mind right. You just need Jesus." I agree I just need Jesus. But Jesus gave doctors wisdom for a reason. Does this mean I haven't prayed for a healing? No. I have prayed and do pray, but for now I know that it is me who has to have a drug in order to not have a panic attack each day. So, the next time you criticise someone who takes it, THINK! My disorder isn't because of what someone did in my childhood or something evil I did. I have a medically proven imbalance of serotonin in my brain. All in all the stress is getting me right now. But God is opening my eyes to ways to handle it better. Making me appreciate the blessing of a chest that breaths easy and a mind that doesn't race even more than if I just had an instant healing. Has this been easy? No. But I realize why God is taking me through it and I know what Satan is fighting me more and more... because I am getting closer to the realizations that God has for my life.
5 - TMJ just... well, sucks for lack of better word. Obviuosly somewhat related to the above mentioned stress. EVERYDAY I live with ringing in my ears and pain in my ears and face. Some days I have horrible headaches just like migraines just minus the vomitting. It is a horrible thing to live with. I am struggling to find doctors to help with this. My chriopractor has worked wonders though... LOVE you Dr. Holt.
6 - Am I a good Mommy? I will never be what I think I should be. I want to just be half as good as my mother was. I don't have much to say on this because I have just accepted that I will most always have this question in my head... I think it means I AM a good Mommy that I care enough to ask that question and evaluate myself for my children's sake.
7 - A variety of other things... Aging grandparents, missing grandparents, running a business, finding time for God (I hate that term, but I must get better at it really), listening to friends, etc.
Ok, to the real point that I wanted to make... I thought of all these things and so much more lately that I wanted to blog about. I don't know if I thought that laying it all out there for the world would make me feel better or what. But this morning I woke up to a mess. Emails, things not done right, and banks closed just made for a rough morning. Then I scrolled down my facebook news feed to see that one of my really good friends had some horrible news. Her daughter is just over a month old and has pnuemonia. She is on a ventilator. She found her blue and limp this morning. My morning didn't start off too bad then did it? I had a reality check. Yes, people are stealing my copyrighted pictures today,... and yes, Reagan pooped a little in her panties... and yes, I couldn't go to the bank... BUT my babies are safe. God you are way too good! I have prayed all day for baby Caroline. And I have thanked God for what Baby Caroline has taught me today. That even on my crummiest day, it is better than someone else's. Put your problems into perspective. Your kids may scream. Your hubby may be working long hours like mine. You may meed to get errands done but stuff just keeps happening. BUT you don't have to be where my friend Marie is right now. I have been there. It's the hardest thing I ever went through in my life. To see your baby so sick. I learned this lesson once and I will learn it many more times. That while my problems are still important and mean something to God, they are still far less important than someone else's.
Jan 18, 2011
Preparing for the Blessings!
Let me begin by stating that I have never been one to seek God for His blessings only. He is much more than a gift giver and bill payer to me. He is the one who gave His Son... and then He is the one who gave His Life... and He then went to prepare an eternal home for me but sent The Comforter to be with me. If He never gave us anything more than forgiveness, it would be enough.
So, having said that, let me also say that I took that belief a little to the extreme over the years. I asked God for things. And that's it. I never believed that I deserved what I asked for or that God even wanted to bless me. This resulted in me feeling so inadequate compared to others. I didn't understand how they could ask for something from God and then receive it. God was too busy saving the lost to bless me, right? And wouldn't it be so greedy of me to ask more of Him?
Lately, I have greatly doubted my ability as a photographer and mother. And God birthed in me what I shared as my Facebook status today,
"God has been teaching me to be actively preparing for Him to answer my prayers. So often I pray and never do anything else. It's like a garden, you can plant the seed & take care of it, but if you aren't preparing for a place to store the goods, then what are you going to do with the harvest? I'm preparing my life for the answers that are coming my way!... and thank you, God for all your blessings."
I realized that God wants to bless me and bless in my OBEDIENCE! Not in my disobedience, but OBEDIENCE! Deuteronomy 28:1-6 says,
"1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.
2 All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out."
What? He WANTS to bless me... He said it in His Word! Yes, I know, I'm so late to jump on this idea, but it amazes me. I still feel so unworthy of His blessings, but I realize that without them, I cannot let His light shine from my life. He gives me these blessings to reach others.... my children, the lost, the broken, the needy, and yes, even those who think they have it all figured out.
Take this scripture and read it carefully,
Matthew 7:7 – 8 (ESV)
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
What do you do when you ask God for something? Does it stop at asking? Or do you seek after it, knock on the doors?
Listen to what the Lord says to the Israelites in II Kings,
2 Kings 3:16-18 “And he said, "Thus says the LORD: ’Make this valley full of ditches.’ For thus says the LORD: ’You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.’ And this is a simple matter in the sight of the LORD...
It seemed so ignorant to dig ditches where it was dry. They were supposed to be fighting a battle not digging and preparing for water! Are you fighting when you are supposed to be preparing for the blessing that God has promised? I sit here right now, multi-tasking, working on my business. God birthed something in my heart about this business... I need to prepare for what God is about to pour out. How can I receive the blessings of more clients if I'm not even ready? Why would God give me more, when I'm not even ready for what I have? I have been working feverishly on updating my site, my blog, and my scheduling, as well as finding a studio location. I AM PREPARING FOR THE HARVEST!!!! I believe that God will allow the water to flow through my life so much so that this water will be enough to fight my battle for me and wash away my enemies as well as bless me in this desert!
I am also believing God for a better life for my family... I am preparing! Matt and I are preparing a plan for getting out of debt. We are preparing for those to come to us that need help... I am digging my ditches. I am not worried about my enemies... I am worried about digging my ditches... God will take care of those who are against Him and my family! I will no longer believe the lie of the devil when he tells me my work is not worth paying for, that my kids deserve a better mother, that we will never have more than we have now.... I will NOT believe Him! I WILL believe the promises of my Father!... I am preparing for those promises He is sending my way. I am not ashamed to ask Him for things! He wants to bless me! I will use those blessings for Him. I WILL use those blessings for Him!
So, having said that, let me also say that I took that belief a little to the extreme over the years. I asked God for things. And that's it. I never believed that I deserved what I asked for or that God even wanted to bless me. This resulted in me feeling so inadequate compared to others. I didn't understand how they could ask for something from God and then receive it. God was too busy saving the lost to bless me, right? And wouldn't it be so greedy of me to ask more of Him?
Lately, I have greatly doubted my ability as a photographer and mother. And God birthed in me what I shared as my Facebook status today,
"God has been teaching me to be actively preparing for Him to answer my prayers. So often I pray and never do anything else. It's like a garden, you can plant the seed & take care of it, but if you aren't preparing for a place to store the goods, then what are you going to do with the harvest? I'm preparing my life for the answers that are coming my way!... and thank you, God for all your blessings."
I realized that God wants to bless me and bless in my OBEDIENCE! Not in my disobedience, but OBEDIENCE! Deuteronomy 28:1-6 says,
"1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.
2 All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out."
What? He WANTS to bless me... He said it in His Word! Yes, I know, I'm so late to jump on this idea, but it amazes me. I still feel so unworthy of His blessings, but I realize that without them, I cannot let His light shine from my life. He gives me these blessings to reach others.... my children, the lost, the broken, the needy, and yes, even those who think they have it all figured out.
Take this scripture and read it carefully,
Matthew 7:7 – 8 (ESV)
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
What do you do when you ask God for something? Does it stop at asking? Or do you seek after it, knock on the doors?
Listen to what the Lord says to the Israelites in II Kings,
2 Kings 3:16-18 “And he said, "Thus says the LORD: ’Make this valley full of ditches.’ For thus says the LORD: ’You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.’ And this is a simple matter in the sight of the LORD...
It seemed so ignorant to dig ditches where it was dry. They were supposed to be fighting a battle not digging and preparing for water! Are you fighting when you are supposed to be preparing for the blessing that God has promised? I sit here right now, multi-tasking, working on my business. God birthed something in my heart about this business... I need to prepare for what God is about to pour out. How can I receive the blessings of more clients if I'm not even ready? Why would God give me more, when I'm not even ready for what I have? I have been working feverishly on updating my site, my blog, and my scheduling, as well as finding a studio location. I AM PREPARING FOR THE HARVEST!!!! I believe that God will allow the water to flow through my life so much so that this water will be enough to fight my battle for me and wash away my enemies as well as bless me in this desert!
I am also believing God for a better life for my family... I am preparing! Matt and I are preparing a plan for getting out of debt. We are preparing for those to come to us that need help... I am digging my ditches. I am not worried about my enemies... I am worried about digging my ditches... God will take care of those who are against Him and my family! I will no longer believe the lie of the devil when he tells me my work is not worth paying for, that my kids deserve a better mother, that we will never have more than we have now.... I will NOT believe Him! I WILL believe the promises of my Father!... I am preparing for those promises He is sending my way. I am not ashamed to ask Him for things! He wants to bless me! I will use those blessings for Him. I WILL use those blessings for Him!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)