All my life I had been told that God ordered my steps. I believed it in terms of big events. I can't say I didn't believe it for the small things, I'm just saying that maybe I didn't realize how often God ordered my steps and stops along the path of each day to ultimately have my back.
Then today happened.
Normally I would complain about all the things we had to do that were so time consuming or just unpleasant to endure. But I had this strange peace all day. We stopped to take care of some banking, stopped at our favorite car dealership to drop off some paperwork, and took our youngest to get some blood work done. I felt the biggest blessing of the day was actually having success with the lab work as we had attempted it three times before. I managed to even keep calm through that procedure with three kids while my husband did a phone conference with work. I was even calm and remembered to call on God for peace in my heart when the lady registering her couldn't get her insurance to enter correctly on her computer.
We went to lunch as a family and I even kept it together when salsa was slung all over me and the baby... along with the special treat of Sprite we had given her for having to get blood work done.
I went home and took a little break and then had to meet a friend to pay for some tickets for a home school field trip before we took our new kitty, Link, to get his check up. Again, I was frustrated that PayPal has had it out for me since I closed my business and switched to a personal account, and I had to make her meet me... But I did it with a smile and didn't even feel as upset as I might normally have been.
On to the vet... Who does the vet with three kids (ages 10, 6, & 18 months) and a kitten (7 months)? I mean wasn't I just asking for it? Alas, even that didn't phase me much and I managed to laugh it off.
And then God revealed the beauty in all the timing of this day. The beauty in having to do errands, the beauty in technology not working, and the beauty in conversations placed perfectly in my day....
... The masterpiece He had made today into, in order to save my family and our home.
To make a long story short, I entered our home at the perfect time to smell smoke and find the power out due to utility work. I was there when the power came on minutes later and caught our fuse box & meter on fire.
And then God perfectly placed the utility worker in our driveway to remove the meter and turn all power off to our house.
He safely got my husband home just in time to go check that I had gotten the fire to stop and to handle the rest of the jobs and chores associated so I could go comfort our daughters and share with them how our God had ordered every part of our day to provide protection to us and our home and everything He had given us.
Today I learned how things I complain about sometimes are REALLY ordered by God if I just allow Him to control things... To not complain or try to fix it. Rather,to just let Him do what He passionately desires to do... To love, protect, and bless His children. He controlled every step and stop I made today. I'm so grateful for the peace He gave me to just let it be and go with what He was doing.... No small feat for this control freak.
We are all safe. We might be camped out on couches and recliners at my parents tonight, but we are together. We are loved by a wonderful Heavenly Father.
I encourage you to trust those moments when you feel God is moving in the everyday... in the mundane. Leave the control in His hands. I have never had such a moment where I sat back and KNEW God had made the timing of the day perfect for me. Had I not been there when the fire started, our day would be ending differently.
Trust Him when the little elderly lady is going 10 mph under the speed limit in front of you. Trust Him when you get unexpected errands in your day. Trust Him when He chooses to delay an answer to a prayer. Trust Him when He says no. Trust Him when He says to go. Trust Him.
Nov 13, 2014
Oct 6, 2014
Whose Report?
Yesterday morning at church I was reminded of why my attitude can be so negative and pessimistic sometimes.... my attitude stinks when I believe the report of the enemy.... my attitude is positive and optimistic when I believe the report of the Lord.
I knew I needed a reminder of this in my house, so I made this and it's hanging on my fridge right now, I plan to print it larger and frame it. I WILL BELIEVE the report of the LORD...
(Please feel free click on the image to download it.)
Sep 11, 2014
Moms & the "It" & Ministry
A long time ago, I titled this blog "About the Journey: How We Get There Matters" because I believe wholeheartedly that it really does matter what happens between point A and point B. I believe that you should do your best all along the way and try to help others as you go. But what happens to a person that believes this but suddenly finds herself feeling that her best is just not cutting it or that she is helping no one?
"It" has been building in my life for months now.
... whatever "it" is.
Maybe "it" is the pressure I feel in my chest when I look around and realize the work I have before me or I jot it all down on my to-do list and realize that I need a whole binder of notebook paper to fit in everything that truly needs to be on that list. Maybe "it" is the fountain of tears that flow out of my eyes on a regular basis when I think of all that has been against me and the family in the past several months - trying to tear me, us.... my relationships apart.
Maybe "it" is that feeling that mothers should just begin to listen to instead of ignore. What if the "it" is God's little way of letting us know we need to take a step back and realize what really matters to us and then do that?
What matters to me? God, my husband, my children, my family, reaching people for God, helping moms, and making a little time for myself so that I can do well the things that matter.
How did I get this list? Getting here wasn't easy. I was running around literally dying inside and not knowing who I was or what my mission in this life was... the mission God Himself had made me to do. I'm still working on it. A whole lot of time being alone with God has ensued and it has been worth every moment.
Then God led me to let stuff go. I hesitated, but eventually listened. I'm still in the process of letting go. And let me tell you, some days, like today, it hurts deeply. Other days, I can feel the freedom I will have when I am all done letting go... it's rising up in me, getting me so excited about what GOD is going to do with me now!
And then, I listened to Laura Ingalls.
Yes, I did.
As I have read her first two books to our daughters as part of our homeschooling, her story about her journey has led me to realize the beauty in little. Her family had little in our eyes but time and again they mention living like kings. Oh, I want that mentality. To realize that I don't need so much, that I am already living like a queen. Things so often cause the "it" to rise up in my chest and hurt.
So today, moms, or anyone else who took the time to read this, I encourage you to listen when the "it" rises up in your chest. We are doing too much, wanting too much, and really asking too much of those around us, as well as asking too much of ourselves all because we feel a pressure from some outside source (society maybe?) that says we have to be and have all those things. We are letting our spouses, children, God, relationships, and self suffer deeply by owning the feeling that we have to be all, have all, and do all.
Maybe today, you have had tears pour wildly down your face because you felt alone in your thoughts. The pressure has been too much and you just don't know how much longer you can deal. You just know you are the worst mother, wife, friend, Christian there is in the world. You feel like you are closing up inside yourself and no one will ever notice the pain you have from feeling like you just can't cut it anymore.
Today, I notice. God notices. And I really believe that we can use the "it" feeling to determine when too much is just too much and it's hurting us. Possibly that means letting go of some things, or talking something out with a loved one, or asking for help, or giving your children more responsibility, or taking time for yourself this weekend, or going to a Bible study, or just hitting your knees and letting your Heavenly Father do what He does best - love on you!
Do not give up mom!
I've told you I have been there. I felt the "it" feeling today and thought I would die from the explosion about to happen in my head. But here's how I cope with that feeling now:
First, I have that instinctual get angry, fight or flight instinct that I have always had. Only now, I take a breath and ask God what He wants me to do in that moment of THAT feeling. Today, He led me to you!... to writing this blog. And here you are reading it.
I hope that you take time today to ask God to help you prioritize life - to help you get to a place that you are accomplishing your mission and yours alone. My current mission is my ministry - my ministry is my children and I do this ministry with my husband. It is the greatest ministry position I have had in my life. It might not be held in high esteem by the world like some ministries, but none the less, it is the most important ministry I will ever be apart of.
If you are there too, in this place of ministry because you have children, then let no one convince you that this ministry isn't important!
"It" has been building in my life for months now.
... whatever "it" is.
Maybe "it" is the pressure I feel in my chest when I look around and realize the work I have before me or I jot it all down on my to-do list and realize that I need a whole binder of notebook paper to fit in everything that truly needs to be on that list. Maybe "it" is the fountain of tears that flow out of my eyes on a regular basis when I think of all that has been against me and the family in the past several months - trying to tear me, us.... my relationships apart.
Maybe "it" is that feeling that mothers should just begin to listen to instead of ignore. What if the "it" is God's little way of letting us know we need to take a step back and realize what really matters to us and then do that?
What matters to me? God, my husband, my children, my family, reaching people for God, helping moms, and making a little time for myself so that I can do well the things that matter.
How did I get this list? Getting here wasn't easy. I was running around literally dying inside and not knowing who I was or what my mission in this life was... the mission God Himself had made me to do. I'm still working on it. A whole lot of time being alone with God has ensued and it has been worth every moment.
Then God led me to let stuff go. I hesitated, but eventually listened. I'm still in the process of letting go. And let me tell you, some days, like today, it hurts deeply. Other days, I can feel the freedom I will have when I am all done letting go... it's rising up in me, getting me so excited about what GOD is going to do with me now!
And then, I listened to Laura Ingalls.
Yes, I did.
As I have read her first two books to our daughters as part of our homeschooling, her story about her journey has led me to realize the beauty in little. Her family had little in our eyes but time and again they mention living like kings. Oh, I want that mentality. To realize that I don't need so much, that I am already living like a queen. Things so often cause the "it" to rise up in my chest and hurt.
So today, moms, or anyone else who took the time to read this, I encourage you to listen when the "it" rises up in your chest. We are doing too much, wanting too much, and really asking too much of those around us, as well as asking too much of ourselves all because we feel a pressure from some outside source (society maybe?) that says we have to be and have all those things. We are letting our spouses, children, God, relationships, and self suffer deeply by owning the feeling that we have to be all, have all, and do all.
Maybe today, you have had tears pour wildly down your face because you felt alone in your thoughts. The pressure has been too much and you just don't know how much longer you can deal. You just know you are the worst mother, wife, friend, Christian there is in the world. You feel like you are closing up inside yourself and no one will ever notice the pain you have from feeling like you just can't cut it anymore.
Today, I notice. God notices. And I really believe that we can use the "it" feeling to determine when too much is just too much and it's hurting us. Possibly that means letting go of some things, or talking something out with a loved one, or asking for help, or giving your children more responsibility, or taking time for yourself this weekend, or going to a Bible study, or just hitting your knees and letting your Heavenly Father do what He does best - love on you!
Do not give up mom!
I've told you I have been there. I felt the "it" feeling today and thought I would die from the explosion about to happen in my head. But here's how I cope with that feeling now:
First, I have that instinctual get angry, fight or flight instinct that I have always had. Only now, I take a breath and ask God what He wants me to do in that moment of THAT feeling. Today, He led me to you!... to writing this blog. And here you are reading it.
I hope that you take time today to ask God to help you prioritize life - to help you get to a place that you are accomplishing your mission and yours alone. My current mission is my ministry - my ministry is my children and I do this ministry with my husband. It is the greatest ministry position I have had in my life. It might not be held in high esteem by the world like some ministries, but none the less, it is the most important ministry I will ever be apart of.
If you are there too, in this place of ministry because you have children, then let no one convince you that this ministry isn't important!
Aug 8, 2014
An Open Prayer for Homeschool Moms
It’s after midnight… and I’m up working on setting up our first year of homeschool. While I taught our oldest for two months at the end of last year, and loved it, I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed with being responsible for the education of two children while still mothering our little toddler roaming around. For goodness sakes, I just went ahead and read 5 Reasons Not to Quit After the First Year of Homeschooling… you know just in case I feel like quitting before I even make it to the first day.
I’m not going to lie. I’ve struggled the past few weeks with tying up loose ends for homeschool. We were met with some very significant needs in the life of a family member that required much of my time and took up a lot of my thoughts and prayer life. That’s another story, but I now feel behind. Enter the beauty of homeschooling! I set my own pace, create my own schedule, and can scratch it all to just start over again if it isn’t working.
But in my desperate plea to God this evening (now morning), I asked Him for wisdom to make the best choices possible for my daughters and our family on this journey. I realized how many more homeschooling mommas just might be feeling some of the same anxiety, frustration, concern, and excitement that I am. This is my open prayer to God for us who homeschool…
Dear Father,
Help us to be a delight to our children; always allowing Your light to shine through in our actions as they will have greater impact on our children than any subject we teach.
Help us to calm our voices & tempers when frustrations are so high that we want to scream and throw papers up in the air; for You are a Father of patience, love, understanding, & compassion to us.
Help us to instill Your word in their hearts so that on days when they feel frustration with their own children, they will know just what You expect of them.
Help us to remember daily, the joy that homeschooling gave us when we first entertained the idea of being the one who taught our children for as their moms we know them best below You.
Help us to relish in the moments when our children flourish under our teaching; for their will come times when finding the way to reach them is hard and we will need to remember that You helped us do it once & You will help us again.
Help us to have wisdom concerning our children; that we might be insightful to their needs, passions, strengths, and weaknesses.
Help us to praise our children’s accomplishments and efforts; for a little encouragement can make a huge difference now and later.
Help us to show our children that we believe in them by choosing to be engaged in their lives, what they love to learn about, what they are saying, and what their minds produce.
Help us make time for ourselves and our husbands so that we can be refreshed and show them a Chrisitian marriage.
And, Father, help us to realize that we are human with faults and that we are truly a work in progress as well… that some days are going to be tough, but some days are going to be magnificent!… let each day drive us onward to the goal of raising beautiful adults who have a heart after You.
Amen
I’m not going to lie. I’ve struggled the past few weeks with tying up loose ends for homeschool. We were met with some very significant needs in the life of a family member that required much of my time and took up a lot of my thoughts and prayer life. That’s another story, but I now feel behind. Enter the beauty of homeschooling! I set my own pace, create my own schedule, and can scratch it all to just start over again if it isn’t working.
But in my desperate plea to God this evening (now morning), I asked Him for wisdom to make the best choices possible for my daughters and our family on this journey. I realized how many more homeschooling mommas just might be feeling some of the same anxiety, frustration, concern, and excitement that I am. This is my open prayer to God for us who homeschool…
Dear Father,
Help us to be a delight to our children; always allowing Your light to shine through in our actions as they will have greater impact on our children than any subject we teach.
Help us to calm our voices & tempers when frustrations are so high that we want to scream and throw papers up in the air; for You are a Father of patience, love, understanding, & compassion to us.
Help us to instill Your word in their hearts so that on days when they feel frustration with their own children, they will know just what You expect of them.
Help us to remember daily, the joy that homeschooling gave us when we first entertained the idea of being the one who taught our children for as their moms we know them best below You.
Help us to relish in the moments when our children flourish under our teaching; for their will come times when finding the way to reach them is hard and we will need to remember that You helped us do it once & You will help us again.
Help us to have wisdom concerning our children; that we might be insightful to their needs, passions, strengths, and weaknesses.
Help us to praise our children’s accomplishments and efforts; for a little encouragement can make a huge difference now and later.
Help us to show our children that we believe in them by choosing to be engaged in their lives, what they love to learn about, what they are saying, and what their minds produce.
Help us make time for ourselves and our husbands so that we can be refreshed and show them a Chrisitian marriage.
And, Father, help us to realize that we are human with faults and that we are truly a work in progress as well… that some days are going to be tough, but some days are going to be magnificent!… let each day drive us onward to the goal of raising beautiful adults who have a heart after You.
Amen
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